


The Neopets Connection

by EmpressCactuar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canadian!Reiner, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Turkish!Bertholdt, very brief reiner/jean in ch.2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:07:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23438188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmpressCactuar/pseuds/EmpressCactuar
Summary: Pieck and Porco weren't convinced. How could Reiner be so naive?(Porco and Pieck aren't convinced Reiner isn't talking to a catfish)
Relationships: Porco Galliard/Pieck, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover
Comments: 38
Kudos: 123





	1. Neopets

**Author's Note:**

> While on vacation I watched lots and lots of Catfish hehe. Mostly while I was writing reibert for background noise. Actually, take a guess what's on my TV right now while I watch this.  
> This will probably be three or four chapters.
> 
> First chapter is their initial relationship
> 
> If you want references for Bert’s gift to Reiner on neopets (not that it matters _at all_ to the story):[Faerie Kadoatie](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/guilds/images/2/25/Kadoatie_faerie.gif/revision/latest/top-crop/width/300/height/300?cb=20120126142936)

Reiner walked excitedly along the concrete sidewalk, a spring in his step while his legs carried him. It was Friday, and he _finally_ made it to the weekend! The library came into view after a few minutes of him walking, Reiner reaching into the pouch on his backpack and pulling out his library card. 

His mommy said they couldn’t afford to have a computer or internet at home. So he only got to play on the internet whenever he went to the library. They didn’t use computers much at school besides teaching them how to type and to play those educational games. It made him sad because Pieck and Marcel and Porco all got to have internet at home and play whenever they wanted, but he was thankful to at least get it at the library. 

The nice lady that worked here scanned his library card, Reiner giving her a smile in return. “Did you have fun at school today, Reiner?” Reiner nodded and took the computer slip from her. 

“Yeah! We’re learning to multiply big numbers now. I like math a lot.” The librarian nodded and smiled at Reiner. He was here every day after school until his mother came to the library to pick him up. She’d grown fond of the little guy. “I want to do math forever. It’s been my favorite _favorite_ subject for as long as I can remember.” 

“You know some people do math for a living. They’re called mathematicians. Maybe you could do that one day.” Reiner nodded and turned to start walking towards the station where all the public computers were set up. He looked back and smiled at the librarian. 

“That sounds fun! I’d like to do that. Thank you, Ms. Brzenska. Tell my mommy I’m playing on the computer when she gets here, okay?” Ms. Brzenska nodded and waved at Reiner as he walked over to the computers in the library. He put his backpack on the floor by his feet, him sitting down and scooting into the seat. He had the password to the library computers memorized at this point, him typing the letters in more quickly than before. He was getting better at typing because they showed him at school. 

Reiner hummed to himself and opened up the internet browser, quickly typing in the URL he wanted to go to. The Neopets webpage opened up, Reiner typing in his username and password and being greeted by his neopets. 

He loved his neopets. He had a kacheek, a buzz, a lupe and a jetsam. His lupe was his favorite, and he had spent a really long time playing games and saving up neopoints to paint him darigan color. His kacheek was still a basic color, but his buzz was baby and his jetsam was Christmas colored. 

Reiner smiled when he looked to the top of the page and saw that he had a neomail from his favorite neofriend. He clicked the neomail to see what the message said. 

_> hey can you get on the shop wizard and buy me a red ruki plushie? a faerie gave me a quest and I can’t use the shop wizard. :( _  
_**> yeah! give me just a second.**_

Reiner went to the shop wizard and bought the item, then gifted it to his neofriend. He went to go play some of his favorite games, both because they were fun and he wanted to get more neopoints. After he played a couple of games he saw a new message. Reiner clicked on it and read the neomail. 

_> thanks! now I can use the shop wizard again. by the way, I got you a present! I got it at the auction last night. but you had already gone home :( _

Reiner checked the event list and saw that he had received a gift. Oh, he got a petpet for his neopets! A faerie kadoatie! Why would his neofriend send him something like this?! A kadoatie, especially a faerie one… something like that would cost millions of neopoints, wouldn’t it?! 

_**> a kadoatie?? are you sure? really sure?**_  
_> yeah! you’re my favorite neofriend. I wanted to give you something really special. :) besides I sniped it at the auction, I didn’t pay a bunch for it._

A smile at the message. He went to his item screen and gave the kadoatie to his buzz. Reiner went back to the neomails and clicked to send another message to his neofriend. 

_**> hey, can I ask you something?**_  
_> sure, what’s up?_  
_**> what’s your name? like my name is reiner. I was just wondering ‘cause I just call you by your username in my head, if you don’t want to tell me that’s fine.**_  
_> my name is bertholdt. :p_  
_**> bertholdt? How do you say that?**_  
_> it’s like bear-tolt. Is your name like rye-ner?_  
_**> yeah! :) I got a random even a few minutes ago and the pant devil stole my bottled water faerie…**_  
_> oh, boo. he stole my slorg the other day that I won from test your strength. :(_

The two of them chatted a little more and did their best to do things together in Neopia. Reiner had just got off school, but Bertholdt lived really far away in the real world so it was a different time. Reiner saw the clock in the corner of the computer say it was 3:30, but according to Bertholdt it’s nighttime where he lives! He’d been home from school for hours and had been playing on the computer for a while. 

_> can I tell you something, reiner?_  
_**> yeah, what’s up?**_  
_> sometimes I have a hard time making friends in real life. thanks for talking to me._  
_**> I like talking to you too, bertholdt. thanks for being my friend.**_  
_**> hey, I gotta leave. My mommy is here to pick me up from the library. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?**_

Reiner wasn’t there to get the message, but a smiley face sat in his inbox shortly after he logged off and logged out of the computer. Karina gave Reiner a tired smile, the two of them walking outside to her car and getting in. 

“Did you have fun at the library today, Reiner?” Karina asked, mindlessly turning on the car and backing out of the parking lot to take Reiner home. Reiner rolled the window of the car down so he could feel the wind on his skin. 

“Yeah. I played with my neopets more and did lots of stuff.” Karina hummed in acknowledgement. Reiner wanted her to ask more about his neopets so he could tell her about his neofriend and how cool he was and how he gave him a kadoatie! 

“Did you have a good day at school today?” Reiner was a little disappointed then. School was… okay. Porco tripped him and laughed at him, but then a teacher started yelling at Porco. Lots of kids watched. Nobody said anything mean and Sasha asked him if he was okay. But it was still embarrassing. 

“Yeah.” Reiner made no move to elaborate. Karina didn’t ask. He looked at his mommy. She was tired. 

Reiner sighed and kicked his legs back and forth while his mommy took him home. They walked into the house, Reiner moving to sit in front of the TV. Karina wordlessly went to the kitchen, Reiner noticing and getting up to follow her. 

“What’s for dinner tonight, mommy?” Reiner asked, moving to stand next to her. Karina looked down at him and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Leftovers. I’m warming up more of the stew I made.” Karina took the large pot out of the fridge and put it on the stove to warm up. 

“Oh.” They had stew leftovers last night, too. Karina noticed the disappointment on Reiner’s face, her sighing and shaking her head. She ran a hand through her hair and met her son’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Reiner. We’re running low on money this month and I… I can’t afford to buy more groceries right now. I’m sorry.” Reiner nodded and looked down at the floor. 

“It’s okay, mommy.” Reiner turned and walked back to the living room, turning on the TV. They didn’t get cartoon network anymore. The landlord increased their rent and to afford it his mommy had to move to a cheaper TV package that didn’t include it. All his friends at school were talking about the new _Powerpuff Girls_ and _Pokemon_ episodes but he couldn’t watch them anymore. 

Reiner sighed and waited for his mommy to finish making dinner. 

He felt so lonely. 

He didn’t have very many friends at school. Pieck was nice to him, and talked to him sometimes. But Porco would push him around and made fun of him a lot. Marcel went to a different school now since he was older. It made him feel… bad. And his mommy was always tired whenever she picked him up to take him home. And lately she hadn’t been paying attention to him as much since her brother was having a baby soon. She was tired. She was stressed. 

But Reiner was lonely. But at least he got to come to the library every day while his mommy worked and his favorite neofriend would be online. Bertholdt. And having a friend to talk to was really nice, even if it was only for a little bit every day. 

  


Reiner logged into his neopets account at the library like he always did. He’d been playing for a couple of years now and his account was pretty well-off, but he didn’t care about that like he used to. Really, he didn’t care as much about neopets as he used to. But there was one thing that kept him drawn back to neopets every day. 

Bertholdt. 

Bertholdt’s account was impressive as ever. He had expensive colored pets, each pet had a petpet, and his profile was truly, genuinely impressive. Sometimes Reiner wondered how much time he spent online. 

_> hey, reiner? can I ask you something?_  
_**> yeah, what’s up?**_  
_> do you have a profile on that one website? You know, like yourspace? But mine?_

Ah. Myspace. Neopets had really strict rules about talking about outside websites, so Bertholdt wouldn’t be able to say myspace without his account being suspended. It was actually very common, speaking in a vague code to talk about outside websites. Reiner chewed on his lip. He didn’t have an account. He only had a few friends from school and hadn’t felt up to making an account. 

_**> no, I don’t.**_  
_> oh, that’s too bad. I was gonna ask if you wanted to be my friend and we could talk there._  
_**> I mean I could make one? :)**_  
_> that’d be fun!_

Reiner smiled at the message and ate a stick of gum. He was 13 now, and he knew Bertholdt was a year younger than him so that would mean Bertholdt was 12. He must’ve lied about his age to make a myspace. 

Reiner typed in myspace into the search bar and went to the website, clicking the create account button. He typed in his information and created the account. Oh, he already had a friend? His name was Tom? Tom Anderson. Tom looked pretty happy in his picture. 

_**> okay I made the account. How do I find you?**_  
_> uh, well. I can’t tell you my last name because they’ll suspend my account here. But if you take the word over and put ho in front of it._  
_**> gotcha.**_

Reiner did a search on myspace for Bertholdt Hoover and found an account. A lot of the posts were in a language he didn’t understand. But he had a theme on his page, it was _Nightmare Before Christmas_. Bertholdt told him once that was one of his favorite movies, so this was almost certainly his profile, right? The profile picture was a picture of a smiley face, but even a regular picture wouldn’t have helped because he didn’t know what Bertholdt looked like. 

He wouldn’t be able to have a profile picture either, come to think of it. It wasn’t like he had a digital camera and even if he did he was iffy using it on a public computer. 

He sent a friend request that was quickly accepted. Reiner smiled and saw a message come in. 

_> hi reiner! ^_^ _  
_**> hi bertholdt! :)**_  
_> you should decorate your profile! there are websites and things with the html and stuff to make it look cool._  
_**> like neopets profiles?**_  
_> yeah! same thing. there are some cool ones here._  
_**> so who’s tom? Why is he my friend?**_  
_> I don’t know? He was on my account when I made one too. I think he’s everyone’s friend._

Reiner made his time in the library, messaging Bertholdt back and forth on myspace because it was quicker than messaging him through neopets. And they could talk about anything they wanted and send each other links to other websites! None of that was allowed on neopets! 

_**> how come you don’t have a picture up, Bertholdt?**_  
_> oh, my parents won’t let me put a picture of myself online. so I used this smiley face because I liked it._  
_**> that makes sense. I have to use the library computer so I can’t put a picture up either. :(**_  
_> that’s fine! as long as we get to talk to each other I don’t think it matters anyways. :p_  
_**> cool. so how’s things going with your math class? I remember saying you had trouble.**_

Reiner didn’t even notice how quickly the time went by whenever his mom showed up at the library. Reiner frowned when his mom arrived, quickly typing out a message to Bertholdt that he’d message him back tomorrow. Bertholdt quickly responded with an animated picture waving goodbye, Reiner chuckling at the picture before logging off. 

“Did you have fun at school today, Reiner?” Karina asked, Reiner staring out the window again. It was okay. Eren and Porco got into a fight at school and Porco threw a chair at him. That had been interesting to watch. He’d gotten his math test back, with a 100% because he loved math. He was doing well with football practice. 

He really liked football but whenever he practiced he missed out on getting to message Bertholdt. And now that he had a myspace he’d probably be messaging Bertholdt even more. But Bertholdt understood. And sometimes he didn’t get to message Bertholdt because he had his own life, apparently he spent a lot of time on his art and writing. 

“Yeah. It was alright.” Karina hummed and turned to look at Reiner. She gave him a tired smile and leaned over to give him a kiss on the top of his head. 

The next day at school Reiner was grabbing his textbooks whenever Pieck came up to him and tapped his shoulder. Reiner turned around and cocked an eyebrow at her. She had her textbooks in her arms, ready to go to her science class. 

“I saw you made a myspace last night.” Reiner blinked and looked at his friend. “I was just searching all my classmates for new friends. I sent you a request. I expect to be in your top eight.” Reiner nodded and grabbed his books, closing the locker when he was done. 

“Yeah? I’ll accept it next time I’m at the library.” Reiner motioned his head for Pieck to walk with him, since their classrooms were across the hallway from one another. Other students walked to and fro, getting in their way. 

“I saw you’ve only got one friend. Who’re you talking to? I've never seen his name before.” Reiner glanced down at Pieck and shook his head slightly, a grin on his face. He thought about playfully pointing out he had _two_ friends because he had Tom too but decided against it. 

“Just a friend. I’ve been talking to him for a long time.” 

“He’s from Turkey and speaks Turkish. We’re living in Canada. You and I speak French and English, nobody here speaks Turkish. It’s just interesting is all. Porco and I were talking about it.” Reiner rolled his eyes. Porco probably said something about it, but Reiner wasn’t sure he cared. 

Oh well. It didn’t matter. 

  


Reiner messaged Bertholdt every day he was able to on myspace, Reiner looking forward to it more every time he logged in. Not that it wound up being something he only used to talk to Bertholdt. Lots of kids from school added him, and he found it easier to talk to people that way. And chatting up people online made it easier to talk to them in-person. Soon enough Reiner felt he was getting to be pretty popular, all things considered. 

_> sounds like things are going really well at school for you. I’m happy for you! I’m sure being one of the best football players at your school helps with that. ;P_  
_**> yeah. But you’re still my favorite person to get messages from. :)**_  
_> oh, stop. You’re making me blush._  
_**> it’s true though! I feel like you’re my oldest friend and we’ve never even met. You’re my best friend.**_  
_I feel like I’ve known you forever._  
_**> :)**_  
_> Reiner? _  
_**> yes, bear-tolt? :P**_  
_> I have something I need to tell you. Will you promise not to judge me? Please?_  
_**> What’s wrong, Bertholdt?**_  
_> My dad was teasing me about getting a girlfriend the other day. But I don’t ever want to even hold hands with girls. Sometimes I want to hold hands with some of my male classmates…_  
_**> Oh. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.**_  
_> really?_  
_**> no. **_  
_> thanks. There’s something else I need to tell you later, but not right now. I need to get off of here, I wanted to go to sleep early because I have a big day at school tomorrow._  
_**> oh, that’s fine. Good night, bear-tolt. :)**_

Reiner attached a picture of a bear and sent the message. Hopefully Bertholdt had a good day tomorrow. As for himself it wasn’t going to be any different than usual. His mom said they could go spend some time together at the park, and he’d been looking forward to it. 

He wasn’t able to log into myspace or neopets the next day, because he had football practice and if he wanted to be a starter on the team next year he really needed to bring it. Reiner found himself chafing a little whenever he wasn’t able to get online and say hi to Bertholdt the next day after that because his mom needed his help with errands. 

There were several message notifications on his myspace, Reiner quickly clicking to check on them. Connie, Porco, Marcel, Marlowe, Hitch… where was Bertholdt? Reiner frowned and clicked on the message chain with Bertholdt, finding the last message he sent to Bertholdt with no response. 

Huh. Weird. Bertholdt hadn’t said anything about anything really going on that would keep him from being able to get online. And Bertholdt had a computer at his house, didn’t he? Reiner frowned and logged into neopets, going to Bertholdt’s user page. 

Last online two days ago? Weird. As long as he had been on neopets and known Bertholdt, which had been a couple of years, he had logged in every single day. He’d never seen anything other than the last visit being under one day ago. 

Reiner messaged his friends on myspace in the meantime. He kept glancing to see if Bertholdt ever came online, but he didn’t see him come on before it was time to leave. He pushed the pangs of disappointment down into the pit of his gut and shook his head. It wasn’t that big a deal. After all, he’d kept Bertholdt waiting before. 

Another day came and went, but Reiner wasn’t able to log in once again. He had to help babysit his little cousin Gabi, not that he minded because he loved her very much. Reiner made his way to the library again. 

No message from Bertholdt. Reiner went to check his neopets account. Last online four days ago? Reiner chewed his lower lip and went back to the myspace tab, pulling up his messages with Bertholdt. 

_**> are you okay, Bertholdt? I saw you haven’t been on neopets. Just wanted to check in. gabi did the cutest thing the other day and I wanted to tell you about it XD**_

A week came and went. Reiner checked in whenever he could, finding no response from Bertholdt. He checked his neopets account again. Last seen eleven days ago? Something was wrong. Was Bertholdt okay? Did he get sick? Anxiety bubbled within him, and Reiner sent another message to Bertholdt’s myspace. 

Summer break arrived before he knew it. Reiner was happy to spend the summer with his friends, and he had a lot of fun at camp. He still went to the library whenever he could, and eventually his mom saved up enough for Reiner to get a cheap cellphone. He felt more connected to his friends than ever before. 

That being said… 

Reiner hummed in disappointment and sadness when he checked Bertholdt’s neopets account again. Last online 175 days ago? The neopets on Bertholdt’s account were sad, because they hadn’t been fed in so long. Bertholdt used to always check his neopets into the neolodge so they’d stay fed. 

_**> Bertholdt? Are you okay? Message me if you see this. Please. I miss you.**_

Another week passed. And another. And yet another. The next school year started. He was a starter on the school’s football team, and he got a lot of praise from his coach. He and Porco had mended their friendship after Marcel died. His mom got a promotion at work and though they were still poor, things improved slowly but surely. 

Reiner went to the library one day after school and logged into the computer, going to myspace and messaging his friends. He chewed his lip and went to his neopets account and checked the familiar user profile. 

Last online: 489 days ago 

A sigh of disappointment. Reiner wasn’t sure why he tried anymore. But he did. 


	2. Reconnection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an instant Reiner thought he was going to be sick, not because he was upset or nervous but because he was so shocked at what he saw.  
>  _Bertholdt Hoover_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This second chapter takes place whenever they reconnect! As per usual, unbetaed and barely proofread.  
> It didn't really come up last chapter but Reiner lives in the New Brunswick province of Canada.
> 
> You need to have creator's style on to read this! I tried using the same format for their conversations as last chapter but it got confusing after a while.

It’d taken him some time, but Reiner _finally_ managed to get his own little laptop and smart phone. He’d worked at a restaurant over the summer as a waiter so that he could finally afford a few little luxuries his mother couldn’t afford to get for him, and a cheap laptop had sat squarely at the top of his list followed by a nicer cell phone. He’d been buzzing in excitement when his mother took him to the familiar pawn shop, passing up beautiful and glittering stones in the jewelry case and eagerly picking out the used computer he could afford alongside an old iphone. Not ancient but used and a couple of generations behind. 

They still couldn’t afford internet at home, since he had to quit his job for time to play football. If he wanted to go to college, he needed to get a scholarship and what better way than with football? He liked to fantasize about playing in the World Cup and representing Canada but playing for his university would be good enough. 

All those thoughts and more rattled around in Reiner’s head while he walked to the library. He liked to sit in the gazebo outside to get online because he felt he had more privacy and the delicate aroma of the flowers planted outside made him relax. Sometimes he’d close his laptop and watch the flowers swaying in the breeze while he checked out his Facebook on his phone. As soon as he sat down in the gazebo he opened his backpack and grabbed the small computer, his fingers nimbly tapping the keys to his password before he connected to the library’s wifi. 

The familiar blue ribbon of Facebook had a single red notification at the top, but when Reiner clicked the friend request he was confronted with something he never thought he would ever see. In an instant Reiner thought he was going to be sick, not because he was upset or nervous but because he was so shocked at what he saw. 

_Bertholdt Hoover_

The mouse cursor very quickly went to click on the name, taking Reiner directly to the profile. Oh, the profile picture was of a hot air balloon. His brows furrowed at the locked-down account; it looked like people who weren’t friends with the account were unable to snoop and find out much at all about the owner, who was apparently Bertholdt. His eyes drifted to the information that he _could_ see, finding that it said he was from Antalya, Turkey. 

That checked out. He remembered chatting with Bertholdt years and years ago, and he talked some about his home country and about some of the sights around his home city. Oh, Bertholdt had made his home sound so beautiful and fun, and Reiner had wanted to see it so badly. Not even just his home city, but lots of sights all over Turkey. Historic mosques, warm Mediterranean beaches, landscapes and architecture unheard of in Canada… 

He’d even made dumb promises with his old friend about going to Turkey one day and seeing all the sights. And Bertholdt had wanted to come to Canada too. Bertholdt had seemed so enamored at the idea of the far-north of Canada; he just _would not_ let go of the idea of seeing the auroras one day. And snow… Bertholdt had said it never snowed where he lived and he’d only ever seen snowfall once. 

The winter-themed Happy Valley was always his favorite land in Neopia. He loved the penguin neopets – bruces – and had two of them. Reiner had explained to Bertholdt that there were no penguins in Canada and he had been so disappointed, having only replied with a sad face. Bertholdt loved snow. 

Ah. He’d spend a minute reminiscing about his old friend. It’d been years since he’d heard from Bertholdt. He’d been only fourteen when Bertholdt disappeared, and now he was seventeen and thinking about what all he wanted to do with his life. 

A smile crept over his face when he pressed the button to confirm the new friend. Reiner moved the pointer more quickly than he ever had, almost feeling stalker-ish with how eager he was to snoop on Bertholdt’s profile. 

Looks like he’s from Antalya but was currently living in Istanbul. He hadn’t ever said anything about moving to Istanbul, but he had said he’d gone with his mother and father once many years ago. Did Bertholdt have family in Istanbul…? Reiner tried to remember but decided trite details like his old friend’s extended family were irrelevant. And a lot of things could change in three years. He… must’ve missed a lot. Reiner hadn’t thought about Bertholdt in months, his friend fading into a memory, but now he felt sad about all he must’ve missed. 

_…Wow_ Bertholdt had gotten good with his art. Reiner remembered looking at watercolor landscapes that Bertholdt had been excited to share. And he remembered how each picture made him feel like a talentless hack because _how_ did a twelve-year old paint such a beautiful field of flowers? One day Bertholdt had painted a breathtaking aurora painting and said that’s what he wanted to see when he visited Canada one day. 

But now paintings of cityscapes and landscapes dotted Bertholdt’s timeline as well, in oils and watercolors and acrylics. Portraits so lifelike Reiner could mistake them for photographs. And Bertholdt would only be sixteen… he really must be a prodigy with a paintbrush. 

Curiously, there were no pictures of him. There weren’t any pictures of people on his profile, not even family or friends. 

Unfortunately he wasn’t fluent in a language he’d literally never heard spoken or been exposed to, so the Turkish on Bertholdt’s profile eluded his understanding. Part of him debated opening up a tab to google translate so he could figure out what was being said, but he decided against it because how often were the things he saw on his own Facebook worth that time? 

A chime sounded, Reiner’s eyes quickly darting to the new chat window at the bottom of his screen. Bertholdt? Now? Really? After all this time, was it really him? Surely it had to be… how many other Turkish people did he know who painted? With the exact same name as his old friend? Reiner swallowed in anticipation and clicked the chat window, unsure of what could come up. 

_> Reiner? It’s me, Bertholdt! I was thinking about you and I looked for your facebook, but I couldn’t remember how to spell your last name. :( apparently reiner brown isn’t right but then I found you! I know I never saw a picture of you, but I remembered you were Canadian and that made it easier to find you :)_  
_**> Bertholdt? Is it really you? I thought for so long something happened to you. I never thought I’d hear from you again.**_  
_> I’m really sorry, Reiner. I promise it’s really me. Something happened. And I don’t want to talk about it right now. But I thought about you every day. I’ve wanted to talk to you so bad._  
_**> I missed you too, Bertholdt. **_

Why was he almost feeling misty-eyed? He’d gone so long without thinking about Bertholdt and even when he did think about him it was more passing feelings of nostalgia about a simpler time imagining frolicking in arctic snow with his friend. Reiner shook his head at the memories and smiled while he typed out a cheeky nickname. 

_**> Bear-tolt.**_  
_> Hehe. Bear-tolt. I almost forgot about that dumb little nickname. I don’t know how, you called me that all the time._  
_**> I almost wish I had a little nickname too. Your paintings have gotten so good! The portraits look just like photographs, and your watercolors are gorgeous.**_  
_> Aww, thank you! I love painting, you remember. It helps me relax. I couldn’t tell you how many times I painted the waterfalls back in Antalya because they were so pretty. _

Sometimes Reiner had heard people talking about how when they reconnected with old friends it’d been like they’d never been separated despite years of not seeing one another; unfortunately, that wasn’t what sort of feeling Reiner found himself confronted with. It was definitely different as their messages continued. And Reiner so badly wanted to ask why he just upped and disappeared one day. 

It had hurt so bad. His chest tightened and the cracks in his heart deepened every time he logged into his now-abandoned myspace account to no new messages. He wasn’t even able to watch _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ without being reminded of Bertholdt and causing him to just feel like he lost someone important. Which wasn’t too bad until Hot Topic started selling all that _Nightmare Before Christmas_ junk and every time he went to the mall he thought about his old friend that vanished without a trace. 

But he didn’t want to bring that up right now. Not when he just wanted to catch up with a friend he thought he got over a long time ago. He had new friends, in-person friends who he could laugh with and hang out with. He even had a boyfriend. 

He couldn’t wait to tell Jean. Reiner kept chatting with Bertholdt in the meantime, eventually bidding Bertholdt farewell for now so he could go home and help his mom cook. It definitely didn’t have to do with the dead laptop battery. He put his laptop in his backpack and walked home, texting Jean to let him know about how his friend reconnected with him. 

“Hey, mom.” Reiner came into his home and walked up to his mother, leaning down just a little to kiss her cheek. Was that weird? Maybe. But he’d done it since he was a kid and just never stopped. Karina laughed softly at the affection from her son and shook her head, her smiling warmly at him. 

“Hey, Reiner. I’m going to be making lobster tonight. The season isn’t going to last much longer so we won’t be able to have it for a while.” Reiner walked to the refrigerator and rolled his eyes at the dumb picture he drew of ‘me and mommy’ that his mom still kept hung up with a magnet. Sure enough, the damp newspapers the lobsters were wrapped in were on the bottom shelf of the fridge, occasionally moving just a little. He almost felt bad for the little guys… but his mom made fantastic steamed lobster. 

“Those lobsters are big. Do you need any help?” Reiner asked, Karina grabbing her pots and putting them on the stove. She put two pots up and pointed at the fridge, Reiner going and opening it up. 

“I spent a little extra for the big ones. I just thought you deserved a nice treat. You’ve been working hard lately.” Reiner grabbed the bowl of pasta salad and put it out. “I made that last night. You don’t need to help me, unless you want to put some water in this pot…” 

Maybe next time he could cook the lobsters. His mom was good at it and he wanted to be able to cook for her sometimes, as much as she worked. He took one of the lobsters and took the bands off its claws while his mom did the same with the other, then tossed it in the pot and listened to the sound of it cooking. When he was little he cried because he thought his mommy was being mean and the lobsters were crying in pain. 

Reiner sat across from his mom at the small dining table, the lobster and pasta salad a more than welcome treat… and these were good lobsters too. His mom was right, the fishing season would be drawing to a close soon, so now was the time to have a treat. “Reiner?” 

“Huh? What’s up?” 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full. How was your day today, dear?” Reiner took a bite of the tender meat and let out a tiny moan. Maybe he was biased because it was his mom’s but it was so good. 

“It was good. Mr. Tybur has been helping me with my math, and I’ve been doing some pretty cool stuff with that. Jean and I are going to see a movie tomorrow, he’s buying the tickets.” 

“That sounds like fun. I’m glad you’re having a good time with your math. Do you still want to do engineering?” Reiner nodded and picked at his food while he chewed. 

“Yeah.” He wasn’t really thinking too much about college and engineering right now, because other things were a priority to him. Like movies and football and his friends. Speaking of which… “Do you remember my old friend I told you about? Bertholdt?” 

“Your neopets friend? What about him? You haven’t mentioned him in a long time.” Karina remembered Reiner becoming crestfallen and withdrawn all of a sudden a couple of years ago until his friends helped cheer him up and brought his smile back. 

“He messaged me today. I didn’t realize how much I missed talking to him, but…” Karina looked at Reiner and shook her head. 

“Be careful, Reiner. I don’t want you getting upset because of someone you can’t even hang out with. It broke my heart to see you so sad. You have plenty of real-life people here who care about you.” 

Reiner chewed his bottom lip but didn’t find himself able to come up with a response to his mother’s words. 

Maybe he’d hold off on telling his friends about Bertholdt. He didn’t feel like he had to justify talking to him, but… 

  


Things had been going great, Reiner had thought. Football practice was going great and on the field he almost felt like he could do anything. He was a starter and had been hearing great things about a possibility of playing for a university. His mom was letting him learn how to cook more and he was able to cook a meal here and there. Bertholdt messaged him every day, enough that they downloaded whatsapp to chat more. 

“Reiner.” Jean asked one day in the hallway in between classes. Reiner glanced up from his cell phone and put it into his back pocket. Bertholdt just sent him a picture of a portrait he’d been working on. Apparently Bertholdt painted commissions to make some extra money from time to time. “Can we talk?” 

“Sure, what’s up?” Jean crossed his arms and looked nervously at the floor, tapping a pointer finger against his elbow. Reiner’s expression grew concerned, him reaching out and squeezing Jean’s shoulder. “You look nervous. Did something happen?” 

“Reiner. Are you… are you cheating on me?” Reiner felt like someone kicked him in the gut at the question, like the wind was knocked out of him. Cheating? Why would Jean ask him such a thing? He’d been nothing but faithful. The thought of hurting his partner so badly like that… he wanted to be offended, but he was more upset at the vulnerability in Jean’s eyes. Normally he could be a cocky asshole but now… 

“Of course not, Jean. Why would you think that?” Jean’s eyes averted and he stared at the floor. Reiner’s eyes softened, him putting his other hand on Jean’s shoulder. Jean glanced up and saw the sincerity in Reiner’s eyes. “You know I’d never cheat on you.” 

“…Yeah. I know you wouldn’t.” Jean shook his head and leaned forward, pecking Reiner’s cheek. “So I gotta go. I just needed to ask. Jaeger thinks he’s going to show me up in class today on our presentations and I need to show that blockhead who’s boss.” Reiner pecked Jean’s cheek and bid him farewell. 

He and Jean had different lunch periods, so Reiner found himself with Porco and Pieck as he always did. “Jean asked me a really weird question today.” Pieck and Porco exchanged looks at one another before glancing back to Reiner. Pieck put down her fork and rested her chin in the palm of her hand. 

“What was it?” Pieck asked. 

“He asked me if I was cheating on him… I wonder why he would ask me something like that? I haven’t done anything differently lately. Football practice is chewing up most of my time and when I’m not at home or doing that I’m with him.” 

“It’s because you keep your nose in your phone all the damn time. Especially since a few weeks ago.” Porco interjected. He put his sandwich down onto his tray and crossed his arms. Reiner leaned back into his chair. “Everyone’s seen you smiling a lot at your phone, and you’re texting way more than you used to.” 

“Yeah. The only time you stop is whenever it’s getting into the evening and at night. But all day you stay on. I never thought you were cheating because I know you and I know you wouldn’t. But people that don’t know you…” 

“…Oh. I… I didn’t even realize.” Reiner fidgeted with his cookie, then put it on Porco’s tray at which point it was promptly devoured. “Does everyone think that?” 

“No. You know how rumors are. Last week it was that Ymir got to third base with Historia behind the bleachers, this week it’s that you’re cheating on Jean. Next week it’ll be that Mikasa put some sort of curse on Sasha.” Pieck waved her hand dismissively and crossed her arms, putting her head on the table and closing her eyes. Porco put a hand on her back and pat it. 

He was really off his game during football practice that day. Normally it all came so naturally, but he kept fumbling his plays and could hardly focus on what his teammates were doing. Connie asked him if everything was okay, but Reiner just shrugged off the concerns and said he wasn’t feeling well. 

Hanging out with Jean didn’t seem enticing right now. Reiner sent him a quick text message and told him that he was just going to go home and relax a little bit. He plopped down on the couch and took a quick nap, because his mom wasn’t quite home yet and he wanted to think. Dinner with his mom was okay, but he told his mom he was tired and went to bed. 

The next morning Reiner cracked open his eyes and looked at his cell phone. He had a couple of notifications, including a text message from Bertholdt and a text message from Jean. Reiner smiled and picked up his phone, swiping the notification to open the message from Bertholdt. Oh, a good morning text. Except it was afternoon in Istanbul, apparently. 

Reiner closed that thread and opened the text message from Jean. Go out? Today? Reiner bit his lower lip and paused. He wasn’t really up to going out today. He’d been getting run ragged between helping his mom, working on his homework, football practice, time with Jean, time with Pieck and Porco… Reiner quickly typed out his desire to stay home and sent it to Jean. He went back to whatsapp to message Bertholdt more. 

(Bear Face )-tolt  
  
My friend Annie and I went to the market earlier. She wanted to get her girlfriend a necklace and I found this necklace while we were looking, isn’t it cool?  
  
What is it? A tree? It looks really cool, though. I bet it looks good on you.  
  
Oh, stop. It’s supposed to be the tree of life, apparently. The paper it came with says Yggdrasil.  
  
That’s cool. How do you say that?  
  
Your guess is as good as mine. :p  
  
So your friend is out? Is that normal in Turkey?  
  
Well. She isn’t really out. I know but most people don’t. Same-sex relationships are legal here but we can’t get married and there aren’t any laws to protect us.  
  
We? Us? Are you gay?  
  
Oh… yeah. I forgot I never told you. I’m sorry. I hope that doesn’t change anything.  
  
Bertholdt. You’ve seen my facebook. Why would that change anything?  
  
I guess you’re right. How are things with Jean?  
  


Bertholdt’s message made Reiner close his messages with him and switch to Jean. Jean hadn’t texted him back since he said he wanted to stay home. Maybe Jean could come over and they could hang out together at home? Reiner quickly wrote out a text message. Pretty quickly Jean replied he was busy. 

(Bear Face )-tolt  
  
He asked me if I was cheating on him. I wouldn’t ever do something like that… Can I tell you something?  
  
Of course you can.  
  
I feel like something’s changed lately. I don’t feel excited to talk to him or hang out anymore. He’s been distant and I’ve not known what to say lately.  
  
Do you love him?  
  


Reiner almost wanted to be offended by the question and started to defensively type out a response, but he stopped himself and deleted the message draft. A sinking feeling started to pool in his stomach, and Reiner couldn’t help but go to the fridge and grab a snack to try and quash it. Didn’t work, but he tried. 

Love… it was a strong word. He certainly cared for Jean. They kissed and fooled around some and he looked at him differently than he did his male friends like Connie and Porco. But he hadn’t ever said ‘I love you’ to him. It never felt like the right time. 

Did he love him? Reiner’s hands started trembling a little. He got onto facebook on his phone and quickly went to his own profile and looked at his profile picture. Him and Jean. He loved him, right…? He tried to conjure up an image in his mind of the future. Marriage, kids, travelling together, spending time at home together… Reiner found his heart didn’t flutter at the thought. Did he feel magic when he looked into Jean’s eyes? No. Fondness? Yes. 

Another message. Had he really been laying there for a half hour wondering about his own feelings towards his boyfriend? Reiner shook his head. He was worrying his friend, and that just wouldn’t do. 

(Bear Face )-tolt  
  
Hey, I didn’t mean anything by that, Reiner. I’m sorry.  
  
You didn’t say anything wrong. I just don’t know if I love him, now that you ask.  
  


Reiner took a break from his phone and tried to watch TV, but his nerves were ruining his day off from school. Love. How was he supposed to know if he was in love? Did you just know? A thought crossed Reiner’s mind, him dialing a number into his phone. 

“Hello?” Porco’s voice came from the other end. Reiner felt a little nervous; Porco wasn’t one to talk much about delicate topics and usually let Pieck do the talking. But Pieck could be a terrible gossip and he needed someone tight-lipped. 

“Porco. I need to talk to you. Are you alone?” A pause, then a sigh. Reiner wanted to roll his eyes. “And don’t tell Pieck anything.” 

“Huh? Why not? Did she do something?” Porco didn’t sound put off by the request, more just… confused. “But yeah, I’m just at home. Pieck and I are going out tonight.” 

“You know how she talks.” Reiner smiled a little at Porco’s chuckling. “I need to ask you something serious. You love Pieck, right?” 

“Uh… yeah?” Reiner could just see Porco withdrawing into his jacket and blushing at the question. He wasn’t one for personal questions. He and Pieck were opposites like that. “What’s this about, Reiner?” 

“I need to know. How did you know you were in love with her?” Reiner fidgeted with the TV remote while he spoke, finding his anxiety wasn’t dissipating at all. 

“Oh. I know why you’re asking that. I won’t tell.” Porco was silent for a minute while he gathered his thoughts. “Talking to her is the best part of my day. I think about her in the mornings when I’m getting ready to go to school. I think about her at night when I go to sleep. When I think about the future she’s always there.” 

“…Thanks. I think I know what I need to know.” Reiner got off the phone and hung up, then rubbed his temples and sighed heavily. He grabbed his phone and sent a text message he was afraid to receive a response to. 

  


“Jean… we have to break up.” Reiner wasn’t sure how Jean would respond. He was sure that Jean wouldn’t break down and cry, and he was right in that regard. Jean had a reputation for being a snarky asshole and even Jean’s soft side that Reiner knew wasn’t a crier. 

“Huh…? Why?” Jean looked confused and looked at the ground, then frowned a little. They’d met up at the gazebo by the library because it was within walking distance of Reiner’s house. The flowers would die soon, and in a few months they’d be blanketed under a layer of snow. Jean frowned and crossed his arms. “Is there someone else?” 

“No, there isn’t. I just…” Reiner bit his lower lip and met Jean’s eyes. They were angry. But he knew behind the anger there was vulnerability. Best to just rip the bandaid off as quick as possible, he supposed. “I don’t love you, Jean.” 

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air, Jean staring down at the ground. “Did you ever love me?” 

Reiner wanted to vomit. Did he fall out of love with Jean? “…No.” A half-laugh from Jean, him shaking his head. Jean ran his hand through his styled hair, then wiped his face with his hand. 

“So these past couple of months were all just a lie? A waste of time?” Anger was starting to creep into Jean’s voice. Reiner wanted to shrink back, but found himself feeling numb to the situation. Shouldn’t he feel bad right now? 

“No. They weren’t a waste. I… I do care about you. I want you to be happy, I just don’t think-” 

“Just shut up, stop trying to spare my feelings.” Jean grabbed his car keys out of his pocket and turned around. “Don’t talk to me at school on Monday. I don’t want everyone bothering me about all this. Goodbye.” 

Reiner felt like he was supposed to cry. Supposed to be heartbroken about the end of his relationship. But instead part of him just felt relieved. Reiner exhaled heavily and turned around, looking at the flowers blowing delicately in the wind while he walked home. 

  


(Bear Face )-tolt  
  
Things have been okay since the breakup. There were a lot of questions at school. Jean won’t even look at me. I guess I deserve it.  
  
I'm sorry. It must be hard.  
  
Don’t be sorry. It’s okay. I just didn’t love him. He deserves someone who does.  
  
You’ll find someone someday. I know it.  
  
Thanks, Bertholdt.  
  
Gonna stay single for a while?  
  
I think so. I’ve just been putting more effort into my football and cooking with mom.  
  
I wanna try that lobster you’re always raving about. (Crab ) Does your mom do something special with it?  
  
That's a crab. (Face With Tears Of Joy ) I don’t think so? But I can’t make it taste as good as she does.  
  


Reiner smiled at the messages from Bertholdt. He hadn’t wanted to talk to his mom about his breakup, because sometimes he had trouble talking to her about things like that without feeling awkward for some reason. Pieck was a talker. Porco was liable to talk to Pieck. But he could talk to Bertholdt about anything and he knew he wouldn’t be judged. 

Weeks passed. He didn’t miss being in a relationship. Maybe that was just further proof it absolutely wasn’t meant to be. He and Jean were doomed from the start, not that he regretted it at all. And he saw the way Jean and Marco were stealing looks at one another in the hallway. He was happy for them. 

Problems with football? Talk to Bertholdt. Dreams about the future? Talk to Bertholdt. Bertholdt knew his friend’s names, and he knew about some of Bertholdt’s friends too (and truthfully… Annie sounded scary). He didn’t even get on youtube or anything like that on his phone anymore, because he wanted to save his data for his app to message Bertholdt. 

(Bear Face )-tolt  
  
Reiner. I want to talk to you about something.  
  
What’s up, Bertholdt?  
  
It’s about me. And why I disappeared a few years ago.  
  
Oh. Okay. If you don’t feel comfortable, it’s okay.  
  
No, it’s fine. I disappeared because I got into a bad car accident. I was fine in the end but my mom died. Dad’s spine was broken and now he’s paralyzed from the waist down. So my dad and I moved to Istanbul to live with my aunt, but I wasn’t able to get online for a long time. I never went back to neopets or myspace because I was just too depressed and wanted left alone.  
  
I’m sorry, Bertholdt. It must’ve been hard. I promise I’m not mad at you for disappearing. It’s okay.  
  
Thank you. I appreciate it. I’m just glad I was able to find you again. Talking to you is my favorite part of my day. (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )  
  
Mine too, bear-tolt (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )  
  


Poor Bertholdt. Only thirteen and he had such a terrible tragedy fall upon him. No wonder he disappeared, having his whole life pulled out from underneath him and then being uprooted and moved to a new city. What would he do if his mom were crippled or killed? Reiner couldn’t be sure. 

But Bertholdt cared enough about him to reach back out. It made Reiner feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

Reiner’s eyes squeaked open the next morning, him reaching over and grabbing his cellphone. A bunch of photo attachments from Pieck and a message from Bertholdt, both sent around one in the morning. He was truthfully more curious about Pieck’s messages because she never sent pictures. 

Ah. Cursed images. Why was he surprised? Oh well. Pieck could get pretty weird sometimes. 

What’d Bertholdt text at one in the morning? That’d mean it was about seven in the morning in Istanbul. Bertholdt must’ve known that he’d be asleep, because Reiner never got text messages before ten in the morning, after school for Bertholdt. 

Bertholdt had chided him a few times for texting at school but never really asked Reiner to stop. 

(Bear Face )-tolt  
  
Reiner. Seni seviyorum.  
  


“Huh…?” Reiner thought he was overly exhausted and misread a bunch of letters smashed together incoherently, but after he got up and ate breakfast the letters still didn’t make sense. Bertholdt must’ve accidentally sent a message to one of his Turkish friends who’d understand what he was saying. No… because he put his name at the start. 

Why would Bertholdt send a message in a language he knew wasn’t shared? Reiner frowned and walked to the library so he could connect to the wifi there; he was running low on data and didn’t want to run out, otherwise he’d only be able to talk to Bertholdt when he had wifi. 

Google translate. What a time to be alive, having such a resource available to him. Reiner kept switching back and forth between his app and google, making sure to type in the words correctly so that the translation came back right. 

“Seni seviyorum…” Reiner mumbled to himself, setting the language to Turkish. His brows rose and his cheeks flushed at the translation on the screen. 

_Seni seviyorum. - > I love you._

“Oh god, oh god, what?!” Reiner said to himself, quickly sitting back up and running back to his house. He pulled a pillow over his face and tried to process what he’d seen. He opened the texting app back up. Bertholdt definitely put his name before the ‘I love you’ so he couldn’t assume it was mistaken identity. 

Maybe Bertholdt meant it in the way that he meant it when he told Gabi he loved her? Reiner got online and went to google, data limits be damned. He googled the phrase and frowned at the result. Seni seviyorum was only really appropriate in a romantic context? Bertholdt wouldn’t make any mistakes like using the wrong phrase, Turkish was his native language! 

Reiner found his face burning hot and even though nobody was around he couldn’t help but hide his face behind his hands. Bertholdt loved him? He wasn’t sure how he felt! He didn’t love Bertholdt, did he? 

What was it Porco had said all that time ago about him and Pieck? Talking to Pieck was the best part of his day. He thought about her when he woke up and when he went to sleep. And any time he thought about the future, Pieck was there with him. 

Well… talking to Bertholdt was the best part of his day. He thought about Bertholdt when he woke up and when he went to sleep. And he couldn’t imagine a future without Bertholdt, even in spite of the fact that they’d never met. And that he’d never seen a picture of him before. 

Reiner swallowed and opened the app. 

(Bear Face )-tolt  
  
Reiner. Seni seviyorum.  
  
Je t'aime aussi.  
  


Was that the right thing to say? Reiner couldn’t deal with any of this! He went outside and jogged for a while, then went back to his phone. 

(Bear Face )-tolt  
  
Really? You do?  
  
Yes.  
  
I was so afraid when I sent that you’d never want to talk to me again, that it’d make everything weird.  
  
I’d never want to stop talking to you.  
  
God I’ve been panicking all day. I want to hug you so much right now.  
  
Seninle olmak istiyorum.  
  
I know. Me too. It’d be so warm and cozy. It’s so cold and snowy here and it’d be nice to be wrapped up in a nice warm hug.  
  
What does that mean?  
  
I want to be with you.  
  
I want to be with you too.  
  
I want to build a snowman with you. (Snowman Without Snow ) Then we’d go inside and play games or cuddle or something. Then you could make me a lobster! (Crab )  
  
When we’re both adults I’m going to come see you in Istanbul. I promise.  
  
But if you come here, I can’t see the snow. I want to go to Canada and see you.  
  
Why not both?  
  


Bertholdt and the snow. Reiner couldn’t help but crack a smile. He was absolutely set on it. Reiner admitted before he wanted to see the Mediterranean Sea and go swimming, but not nearly to the extent that Bertholdt wanted snow. 

Now that there were love confessions out of the way, Reiner had one thing on his mind now. 

(Bear Face )-tolt  
  
Hey, Bertholdt? I know this might sound like a weird question, but do you have a picture of yourself? I’m just curious what you look like. Now that, well, you know.  
  
Uh. Give me a minute. I’m really really camera shy and I don’t like people taking pictures of me. That’s why I don’t have any on my facebook. But I think my aunt might have a picture of me on her facebook from a family reunion.  
  
If it makes you uncomfortable it’s fine, bear-tolt.  
  
It's okay. Give me a minute.  
  
[photo attachment]  
  
Here. See the tall guy in the back? I can’t say with the black hair, most of us have that. I’m the one with the white button-up shirt on.(Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )  
  


Tall guy with a white button-up. Oh, that’s what Bertholdt looks like? _…Wow_ he’s tall, and Reiner can’t help but notice that Bertholdt is _handsome_ too. His black hair is shiny, and when he zooms in he can see a very shy smile. His cheeks are pink, probably from being embarrassed of the camera, but it makes him just look so cute. Sun-kissed tan skin. Reiner found himself wanting to kiss Bertholdt’s cheeks. 

(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
Wow bear-tolt, you’re gorgeous!(Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes )  
  
Really?  
  
Yeah. I want to kiss your cheeks.  
  
Just my cheeks?   
  
Definitely not.(Face Throwing A Kiss )  
  
Je t'aime.  
  
Ben de seni seviyorum. (Heart With Arrow )(Two Hearts )  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Porco and Pieck are absolutely sure Reiner's boyfriend is just a catfish. Time to go snooping.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I felt very self-conscious about this chapter for some reason. I get so nervous sometimes with my fic.


	3. Adulthood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning Reiner woke up to a string of text messages from a clearly sobered-up boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, there's not as much Pieck and Porco as I originally intended in this chapter. I wanted to write about Reiner and Bertholdt getting older and developing their relationship more before pokkupikku starts meddling.

(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
You’re moving into your dorm room today, are you excited?  
  
Yeah. In a few hours. Mom’s been really sad. She’s going to miss me. I’m afraid if she cries I’m going to cry. (Crying Face )  
  
Aww. That’s sweet. You and your mom are close. But I’m sure she’s proud you’re going to school.  
  
I know that. And when I’m an electrical engineer I’ll be able to afford to help her out more.  
  
You’re so sweet. (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )  
  
So once I’m moved in I’ll have unlimited wifi from the university.  
  
Really? That sounds nice, I know you were always worried about eating up all your data because then we wouldn’t be able to talk.  
  
Well, I was thinking. If I have wifi now and you have wifi, do you want to talk? Like on the phone? Since the app doesn’t charge, if we’re both using wifi it’ll be free.  
  
I’ve always wanted to hear your voice (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes ) I bet it’s deep. And soothing. You look like the type to have a low voice. I bet your Canadian accent is cute too (Face Throwing A Kiss )  
  
My voice is deep so you’re right (Smiling Face With Open Mouth And Tightly-Closed Eyes ) I bet your Turkish accent is cuter though (Face Throwing A Kiss )  
  
We probably can’t tonight because of the time difference. And I want you to have a good day with your mom. But tomorrow we can talk. I want to talk and talk and talk. If you call around noon it’ll be six here.  
  
That sounds nice to me. I gotta go, bear-tolt. My mom and I are getting ready to leave. She wants to sit with me in my room for a few more minutes before I go. I love you. (Sparkling Heart )  
  
I love you too. Tell me how your dorm room is. (Heart With Arrow ) If I go to sleep I’ll talk to you tomorrow.  
  


Reiner put his phone back into his pant pocket and shoved the last box he was taking with him into the back of the van. He wasn’t taking much; the dorm room would have his basic furnishings already, so he had his linens and a few sentimental things already packed. A few framed pictures had been tucked safely away as well, so he didn’t feel too lonely. Pieck was going to the same school as him, and Porco was going to trade school in the same city so he could stay with Pieck. 

“Mom?” Reiner said, finding her sitting on his bed by herself. She looked sad; she knew Reiner would be leaving home one day but that didn’t make it any easier now that it was upon her. It was even more apparent with many of Reiner’s things packed away. Reiner sat down next to Karina on his bed and leaned against her, Karina resting her head on his shoulder. 

“I feel like it was only yesterday I brought you home from the hospital. Now it’s time for you to move out.” Karina ran her hand up and down Reiner’s thigh and shook her head. “I’m proud of you. I’m just going to miss you.” Reiner closed his eyes and let his mom squeeze his leg. Karina started to sniffle, and Reiner found his eyes prickling just a little bit. “My baby boy is grown up and moving away.” 

“I’m going to miss you too, mom. I’ll visit. Maybe you can bring Gabi to come see where I go to school.” Reiner said. Karina pulled Reiner into a hug and buried her nose into crook of his neck and shoulder. “I’ll call you.” 

“I know.” Karina eventually let Reiner go, her and him walking out and making their way to the van they had rented to take his stuff to school. Reiner got into the passenger’s side and looked at his home. He’d been there since he was a baby. The garden in the front was planted when he was ten and he helped his mom with it every year, but now he wasn’t going to be around when it came time. Everything was changing. 

At least he still had Pieck and Porco at his new school. All his other friends went their separate ways. Such is life, and he couldn’t be upset with them when he was leaving too. Maybe he’d stay in touch with a few of them. Maybe he wouldn’t. It was hard to say. But there’d be new people to meet and be friends with regardless. 

Unpacking his stuff and setting up his dorm room was easy enough. He was staying in one of the nicer rooms, since his scholarship was generous enough to provide a stipend that covered the cost of a more expensive option. The floor was a carpet instead of tile, but he had to share a bathroom with three other people. Oh well. Better than sharing with an entire floor of people. 

“You can put your pictures on your nightstand here by your bed, or you can put them on your desk over there.” Karina looked at a picture of her and him that her sister-in-law had taken a couple of months ago. “…I guess that’s everything.” Karina fidgeted awkwardly, looking at Reiner’s half of the room. It was sparsely decorated but surely Reiner would buy a couple of posters and take more pictures to put up. 

“Yeah. I think it is.” Reiner and Karina stood in silence, neither of them wanting to say goodbye. Karina breathed in deeply and gestured for him to follow her outside to the van they brought his stuff in. Reiner fidgeted and looked down at his mom. He’d been excited to move out and be on his own. But now… he was scared. Instead he pulled his mom into a tight hug and squeezed. Karina put her arms around her son and hugged him back, her noticing his body starting to rumble. 

“I love you. You’ll always be welcome back home. I’m so proud of you, Reiner.” Karina rubbed circles into Reiner’s back and kissed his wet cheeks, then ran a thumb along his cheekbone. “Will you do me a favor?” 

“What do you want?” Reiner asked, clinging to his mom until she started to pull away. It would be getting late soon and she needed to drive back home. 

“Have fun. And let me know when your soccer team plays, I want to watch. I’ll try and come visit and watch one in person, okay?” A nod, Reiner’s eyes leaking while he did so. “I guess it’s time for me to go home, Reiner. I love you. Have fun, stay safe. You can call me whenever you want.” 

“I know. I love you, mom.” Reiner couldn’t help but walk by her side to the door of the car. Once they were standing by the vehicle, Karina pulled her son close and kissed his cheeks, but even with dozens of new students and parents moving to and from the dorm building Reiner couldn’t be embarrassed. 

“I love you too.” Karina got into the driver’s seat and looked back at Reiner. “I’ll see you soon. Be safe, dear. Please… have fun.” 

“I’ll make you proud, mom.” Reiner said, wiping at his face. Karina shook her head at her son. 

“You already have, dear.” Reiner only smiled and nodded in response. 

  


Reiner’s eyes cracked open, him being surprised to find himself in an unfamiliar room. Oh, right… he’d moved in yesterday. His roommate had moved in a few hours after his mom left to go home, and he hadn’t really clicked with his new roommate immediately but he was nice enough. His roommate had already gotten up and left, so Reiner found himself alone. 

He grabbed his cell phone and looked at it. Pieck sent him a picture of her dorm room and was complaining about how her building sucked and she was jealous of his room. Porco was living in a studio until Pieck was able to move off campus, since their college required living on campus the first year. Karina had sent him a couple of text messages, complete with embarrassing kissy-face emojis. She was still learning how to text with emojis, but it was okay if his mom was being embarrassing because it was just him. 

(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
Good morning Reiner! (Sun Behind Cloud ) How’s the new place?  
  
Morning, bear-tolt. Or I guess it’s the late afternoon for you? My room is nice. My roommate makes himself scarce, he’s not here right now. He said last night he has family in this city but the university requires he live on campus. I think he's just staying with his family for now.  
  
That sucks.  
  
He barely moved anything in. He said something about moving into a fraternity house. Apparently his dad and grandpa were in the same fraternity he wants to join.  
  
We don’t have fraternities like that out here. They’re more something we see in American movies, but I guess it makes sense they’re in Canada too. Probably not as much though.  
  
I’m not really interested in it. I think it’d be easier for me to make friends in a different setting than a fraternity. Besides, I want to focus on my friends and football and my studies.  
  
And you. (Winking Face )  
  
You’re making me blush. (Kissing Face With Smiling Eyes )  
  
Reiner? Did you still want to try talking on the phone?  
  
I’m all alone here, give me a few minutes to see if I can do it! I have unlimited wifi here at my dorm and on campus. (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )  
  


Reiner found himself feeling anxious when he looked at the little phone icon on the corner of his phone screen, on the other side from Bertholdt’s name and picture. He’d so desperately looked at it in the past, wanting to call Bertholdt but not finding himself able to do so. Sure, he could’ve used public wifi, but that had felt… too exposed and impersonal for talking to Bertholdt. 

Better now than never, he supposed. Reiner tapped on the phone icon, then tapped on the call button. He swallowed anxiously and found himself tapping his foot against the wall while he laid in bed. The dial tone stopped after a moment, Reiner being greeted with the sound of silence. 

“Hello?” Reiner said nervously. He squeezed his hand into a fist and unclenched it to help calm his nerves. 

“Hello? Reiner?” Oh, what a cute accent. Bertholdt’s voice was truthfully just a little higher than he’d imagined, but it was still so cute and Reiner wanted to hug his pillow and squeal like a child in excitement. 

“Bertholdt? Is it you?” A chuckle at the question. Reiner felt his face getting hot, and the feeling of anxiety within him began to fade. Reiner found his cheeks getting sore, him becoming aware of the wide grin on his own face. 

“Your accent is so cute, Reiner. And your voice is so deep. I’ve always wondered what you sounded like.” Reiner felt a strange sense of pride at Bertholdt calling his accent cute. “Are you excited to finally be out on your own?” 

“It’s scary, Bertholdt. I was excited, but now that I’m actually sitting alone here in this room it’s really sinking in. I miss my mom.” Reiner sat up and leaned against the wall, kicking his legs off the end of his bed. 

“I understand. I’m not sure what I’m going to do when I’m an adult. As long as my dad needs help I’ll probably be staying with him and my aunt.” 

“That’s very kind of you, taking care of your father. You must love him a lot.” A hum of acknowledgement on the other end of the line. Reiner could lose himself in Bertholdt’s voice. He just couldn’t get over how much he loved it. 

“I really do. But I worry about his health sometimes. He misses my mom so much. You know, they say when a lovebird dies the other will die just to join its mate. I think… well, I know dad loves me enough to hang on but he stays sick. I worry.” 

“It’s okay, Bertholdt. You’re doing just fine. I’m proud of you.” He really was. Young, already a master painter and he helped his aunt take care of his dad. What a gentle, caring soul. How lucky he was to have someone like Bertholdt care about him. 

“I want to talk about something happier. It’s August now, so it’s the end of summer. Are you excited for the snow?” Reiner couldn’t help but laugh at the question, but Bertholdt didn’t. “Why’s that funny?” 

“Nothing. It’s just, well, it snows all the time out here and it isn’t really that special to me. It’d be like me asking you if you’re looking forward to it being humid in Istanbul.” Bertholdt was always complaining about how humid it got. Apparently the city would constantly be foggy in the mornings even though it’d dissipate. Reiner wanted to see it because part of him didn’t believe it was as foggy as Bertholdt claimed. 

“Ah. I see. Well, I’ll just be excited about the snow for you. When I come to Canada one day, we should go up to the arctic together to see the auroras!” Excited as ever. Reiner couldn’t lie and say he didn’t want to see it. 

“Yeah. That’d be nice. I’ll do some looking around to see where we’ll need to go. You have to go a lot farther north than where I live. It’ll be really cold up there, way more than what I’m used to.” 

“That’s right, you’ve never seen them either. That’ll make it that much more special when we go see them! Promise me you won’t go see the auroras without me? And don’t worry about the cold. I’ll keep you warm.” There was a playful suggestiveness in the last sentence, Reiner feeling his cheeks heat up a little. 

“Really now? Gonna keep me warm? How do you plan on doing that?” 

“You’ll see if you promise me you won’t go see the auroras without me.” 

“I promise.” 

Reiner found it so, _so_ easy to get lost in conversation with Bertholdt. They chatted on the phone until Bertholdt realized it was already eleven at night and that he needed to go to sleep. Had they really been talking on the phone for four hours? He couldn’t help but feel sad when he had to get off the line. 

“We’ll talk again tomorrow, right?” Reiner asked whenever it was time to say goodbye. A sweet, beautiful laugh came from the other side of the line. 

“If you want to. I can’t talk for as long as today, but we can. Seni seviyorum.” 

“That sounds so nice when you say it. Bertholdt, je t’aime.” 

“Oooh, I always wondered what it sounded like when you speak French. Can you say something else to me before I go, Reiner?” 

“Hehe. Bertholdt, you’re so cute. Les mots ne peuvent pas décrire mon amour pour toi.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“Words can’t describe my love for you.” A contented sigh came through the phone. 

“Your French sounds so beautiful. I’ll be dreaming about it. Goodnight, Reiner. Seni seviyorum.” 

“Je t’aime. Fais de beaux rêves.” 

Reiner sighed a dreamy sigh and leaned back into his bed whenever he finished talking to Bertholdt on the phone. Shortly after, his phone vibrated. Reiner checked and saw that he had a text message from Bertholdt. He opened it up to find a selfie and a message attached to it. 

(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
[photo attachment]  
  
I really don’t like taking pictures but I thought you might like another one besides the one you have. I was getting ready for sleep and liked the way my hair looked for once.  
  
You’re as handsome as ever. (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes )  
  
[photo attachment]  
  
Here’s one just for you.  
  
Çok yakışıklısın. (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes ) Giving me something nice to dream about.  
  


It was just a simple selfie with his tongue sticking out but Reiner was still flattered by the compliment. And it was a gorgeous picture of Bertholdt. It was a lot better than the other one he had. He’d go print it out and put it in one of the empty frames his mom gave him for “all the memories he was going to make” as she had phrased it. 

The picture quickly made its way into the frame, and Reiner kept it on his nightstand so that it was right there whenever he woke up and went to sleep. It was comforting, and truthfully having the picture there made him feel a little closer to his boyfriend. 

His roommate never asked about it. After the first couple of weeks at school Reiner never saw him again. It bummed him out a little, he’d wanted to make friends. At least now Pieck could come over more with him gone. 

“Who’s that?” Pieck was getting comfortable on Reiner’s bed whenever she saw the picture for the first time. She and Reiner were in the same calculus class, and had taken to doing their homework together and seeing how the other got their answers. It made them both far more confident in their work and they got to spend time together to boot. 

“Oh, him? That’s my boyfriend. Bertholdt.” Reiner never hid Bertholdt from Pieck. He’d mentioned having a boyfriend before. And that it was a long-distance thing. But he didn’t really talk to her much about his relationship, because usually they didn’t talk about his personal life. “Isn’t he handsome?” 

“Yeah, he’s cute.” Pieck looked carefully at the picture. Tanned skin, and shiny green eyes. The smile on his face was shy. “How long are you doing the long-distance thing for?” 

“…I don’t know. His dad is sick and he’s taking care of him. But we’re hoping to meet for the first time next year. He’s not an adult yet, I’m older than him and all.” Pieck raised a brow but said nothing. Sick parent? Didn’t people online use sick family members as excuses to not meet? 

“He speaks fluent English, too? I thought English wasn’t particularly common in Turkey?” Pieck frowned at the equation on her computer and tapped Reiner’s arm, frustrated that he was stuck on the same one. 

“Well, his dad is Turkish and was born and raised in Turkey but his mom was from England. So Bertholdt learned English from his mom and Turkish from his dad’s family. But I think his dad is fluent in English and learned it from his mom.” 

That seemed… convenient. 

…It wasn’t her business, she supposed. Reiner was surrounded by lots of amazing men that were here in Canada. It probably wouldn’t last too much longer anyways. No use worrying too much. Reiner could figure everything out for himself. 

  


Reiner hummed happily to himself while the smell of clam chowder wafted into his room. He missed his mom’s cooking. He was in his second year of university now, and had just finished his first semester. His first year had gone just fine, though his football team had really struggled when a couple of their players got into a car wreck and wound up with broken legs. He got to go home for the summer, and that meant spending the summer with his mom and Gabi. Now he was back again for winter break. 

Pieck had moved in with Porco off-campus, and he had taken the opportunity to move in with them as well. He got the smaller bedroom and they took the larger bedroom on the other side of the apartment. It was as good an arrangement as he could get, and their rooms being far apart meant he didn’t have to worry about listening to them having sex. Everyone was happy. But even though he had a place to live off-campus, Reiner still wanted to visit his mom. 

Today was Bertholdt’s eighteenth birthday, and the two of them had been making plans to organize a meeting between the two of them. But that wouldn’t be for a few more months at least. Next summer would be the perfect time. Bertholdt had been taking several art commissions to save money for a ticket to Canada, plus extra to buy food and souvenirs. 

Reiner checked the time on his phone. He had been texting Bertholdt all day, but it was midnight in Istanbul now. Technically it wasn’t Bertholdt’s eighteenth birthday anymore. He responded to a text message from Porco, and another from Connie. While he was typing out the message, he got a notification that Bertholdt sent a picture. Weird. He probably saw another stray cat outside and sent a picture of it, he did that from time to time. He switched to the app to see what captured Bertholdt’s attention this late. 

_…Wow,_ Reiner wasn’t expecting _that._ Instead of a stray cat, Reiner was treated to a picture of a fully naked Bertholdt, standing in front of a mirror with an empty wine bottle next to him. One hand was holding the camera, but the other was holding his… 

Reiner flushed and felt his pants tightening while he saw the three dots at the corner of the screen. He bit his lip and waited for Bertholdt to send the message. 

(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
[photo attachment]  
  
reineeerrrr i’m 188 now you can’t say that yiu can’t sent me pictures hehhe  
  
i’m not 188 id be dead lol  
  
thinking about youuu  
  
Are you okay, Bertholdt?  
  
evet, I’d be more ok if yu were sucking me off tho (Face With Stuck-Out Tongue And Winking Eye )  
  
can you talk frnch to me when we fuck one day  
  
Tu es vraiment un vilain garçon.  
  


Reiner was never more sure of anything than he was sure Bertholdt was going to lose his damn mind when he sobered up and realized he sent a naked picture of himself with a hard-on, face visible. Bertholdt _hated_ taking pictures of himself anyways, let alone a drunk nude. 

But… he was definitely _well-endowed_ to say the least and Reiner nearly panicked when he got an incoming call while he was thinking about his boyfriend’s crotch. 

…It’d chew up his data to talk to Bertholdt, but the month was almost over and he’d get more as soon as it was the new year. Reiner chewed on his tongue, then got up to lock his door. He unbuttoned his pants quickly and answered the phone.

“Reinerrrr talk French to meeeee!” The words were slurred, but Bertholdt’s voice was so adorable that Reiner’s heart swelled regardless. They’d been talking for a year and some change now, but still Reiner was enamored every time he heard his favorite person. “It’s so hoooot.” 

“Are you okay, Bertholdt?” Reiner asked, now just a little bit concerned at the slurring. A moan came from the other end of the line, Reiner feeling his face heat up. “What are you doing?” 

“Thinking about you, I want you so bad, Reiner…” Reiner had adamantly refused any explicit sexual talk or pictures because Bertholdt was still a minor and he was an adult and he wasn’t going to entertain the thought of doing anything that’d get him in trouble, even if they were pretty much the same age. Looks like Bertholdt was counting down the days to adulthood and was now celebrating accordingly. 

“J'ai vraiment envie de toi.” Reiner had a fleeting thought that he could say damn near anything at this point and Bertholdt wouldn’t know the difference. He wasn’t fluent in French. He could say the sky was pink and Bertholdt would probably still be servicing himself on the other end of the line. But he wasn’t going to be an ass because truthfully… it was pretty hot. “Tu m’excites.” 

“Seni içimde istiyorum.” He had no way of knowing what the fuck Bertholdt just said but he was too drunk to be fooling around saying nonsense. And dear god the lust dripping from his voice made him want to fly to Istanbul _now._ “Seni seviyorum.” Well, he knew what that meant. 

“Je t’aime aussi.” If they were both adults now, it wouldn’t do any harm to help himself out too, Reiner thought. At least now he wouldn’t feel like a creep, anyways. “Je veux te baiser.” 

He wasn’t going to mind this new part of their relationship at all. Reiner let himself relax and pushed his own pants down while listening to Bertholdt go on over the phone. Thoughts of what he was going to do when they met for the first time filled Reiner’s mind, him sighing in content. 

The next morning Reiner woke up to a string of text messages from a clearly sobered-up boyfriend. He chuckled a little at the desperation in the messages. Bertholdt probably had a beet-red face when he looked at his messages and saw the nude photo of himself. 

(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
GOD Reiner I’m so sorry I was drunk, I didn’t mean to send that picture, I know unsolicited pictures like that aren’t appropriate (Pensive Face )  
  
I’m not sorry you sent it at all (Face Throwing A Kiss )  
  
You’re not upset? I’m so embarrassed…  
  
You shouldn’t be, you look great.  
  
Stop it, Reiner. I’m so embarrassed and humiliated.  
  
Bertholdt. You don’t need to be embarrassed. Nobody is ever going to see it except for me. I promise.  
  
Okay… thanks, Reiner. I guess I had too much to drink.  
  
I had a lot of fun with that phone call too. We’ll need to do that again sometime.(Winking Face )  
  
Hush.  
  
I can send you a “special picture” later if it’d make you feel better (Winking Face )  
  
…Well, I wouldn’t mind that. If you’re offering. (Eyes )  
  
Of course you wouldn’t. Je t’aime.  
  


Reiner was absolutely giddy. Bertholdt was going to be coming to see him in a couple of months! He’d been doing some work on the side to get some extra cash, especially now that football season was over. He was working as a waiter again, and he was able to get some jobs doing manual labor here and there. If he wanted to go to the far north and go see the auroras with Bertholdt, he had to be able to afford the lodging and travel costs. 

He hadn’t seen Pieck and Porco much lately. He stayed so busy with school and work. And when he was home, he was sleeping or talking to Bertholdt. Not that he felt like they’d drifted apart. Porco and Pieck were understanding. And Reiner knew that as soon as the semester was over, he’d see them more whenever he didn’t have to worry about class. Pieck had practically become a cryptid when she was taking organic chemistry and calculus II at the same time, he saw her so infrequently. Phases of not seeing each other came and went. 

“You’re serious about this, huh?” Porco asked when Reiner came back home from work one night. Pieck was sleeping after a long day of exams. Reiner reached into the pocket of his uniform’s apron and pulled out a thick wad of bills. He’d made over three hundred that night, because there was a popular band on tour that stopped by the city. At this rate he’d be able to have plenty left over after Bertholdt’s trip to Canada. 

“As serious as a heart attack.” Reiner took off the bow tie he had to wear and took off his apron. He was ready to just lounge around in his underwear, truth be told. Working as much as he did, along with taking advanced math courses and hard physics courses, was crushing him. His mom was worried about him despite assurances that it was just a hard semester. “I’m so excited for you and Pieck to meet him. And I’m even more excited to meet him myself. I wonder if he sounds different in person than over the phone?” 

“Don’t work yourself too hard, Reiner. You’re gonna burn yourself out.” Reiner took off the rest of his uniform and went to his room, putting on a tank and pajama pants. He came back into the living room and sat down next to Porco, putting his feet up. They were sore; staying on his feet for hours and hours waiting tables did that, after all. 

“I’ve almost got enough saved up. Just a couple more weeks. Then I can relax and take some time off work.” Porco nodded and went back to listening to Reiner rambling about his boyfriend coming up to Canada. Truthfully he was excited for Bertholdt to come so Reiner would just shut up. 

Reiner frowned when he grabbed his phone the next afternoon and saw a distressing series of text messages from Bertholdt. He couldn’t help but bring a hand to his mouth and shake his head just a little, Porco noticing and raising a brow. 

(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
Dad died today.  
  
It was so sudden. We were out eating, then an hour later he was dead. I don’t know what I’m going to do, Reiner.  
  
I feel so alone. My dad was one of my best friends. You know, I worked up the nerve to come out to him a few months ago and he accepted me. I wanted you to meet my dad so bad. I think he would’ve loved you. He liked math, just like you.  
  
Do you want to call and talk?  
  
No. I mean, I do, but I have things I have to take care of out here. Dad was a practicing Muslim. I have to prepare him for the funeral. In Islam it’s important for the body to be buried as soon as possible.  
  
They have to do an autopsy because he died so suddenly. It’s stressing me because it’s best to bury the body before the next sunset. But I can't.  
  
But as soon as it’s done I need to clean and shroud the body, then we’ll need to get to the burial. I know he wanted to be buried with mom in Antalya, but he’s being buried in Istanbul with his family. I guess it doesn’t matter in the end though.  
  
I’m sorry, Bertholdt. I’m really, really sorry. You know you can talk to me whenever you need to.   
  
Seni seviyorum.  
  
Thank you, Reiner. Je t’aime. I’ll talk to you soon.  
  


Reiner would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed when they had to cancel Bertholdt’s trip to Canada. Bertholdt had sobbed and sobbed when he was finally able to call Reiner and talk after his dad’s funeral. He cried himself when he got off the line because it hurt him so badly to know Bertholdt was hurting and he couldn’t even be there for him. 

Bertholdt didn’t disappear like he did when his mom died. They didn’t talk as much, that was for sure. Reiner would be lying if he said he wasn’t a tiny bit worried Bertholdt would disappear again. But regardless, Bertholdt would still text him at least once a day, and they still talked at least once a week. 

Bertholdt would be back. He was grieving. He’d lost both of his parents and he wasn’t even nineteen yet. Reiner couldn’t help but admire Bertholdt’s strength, and he’d be there as much as Bertholdt needed. 

That’s what you do for people you love, after all. 

  


“So you and your boyfriend haven’t been talking as much lately?” Pieck asked one day, her lounging on the couch and resting her head on Porco’s lap. Reiner was curled up with his phone in the chair by the coffee table, a soda sitting on the end table while he texted Connie and Eren. 

“No. We’re texting a little more than we did the first week or so after his dad died. But still not as much as before. We still talk on the phone at least once or twice a week.” Reiner explained, him stretching out his body and exposing his belly. He pulled his shirt back down and curled up, watching the TV show that Porco had put on. 

“Reiner… can I ask you something?” Pieck started, Reiner raising a brow and signaling for her to continue. Pieck closed her eyes at the feeling of Porco running his fingers through her hair. “Don’t you think it’s a little suspicious that right before you guys are supposed to meet, something happens and you wound up not meeting him?” 

Porco’s eyes darted to Reiner, finding Reiner’s expression looking slightly offended. Reiner put his phone down and crossed his arms. “What are you saying, Pieck?” 

“Don’t get upset, Reiner.” Pieck sat up and moved to put her head on Porco’s shoulder. “I just think it’s a little weird that you’ve been so in love with this guy for so long, and your plans to meet up fall through right before you were supposed to meet. Are you sure Bertholdt is who he says he is?” 

“Of course I’m sure Bertholdt is who he says he his! Why would he lie about something like that? He loves me, he wouldn’t string me along like that!” Reiner was getting defensive. Porco crossed his arms and started shaking his head a little. 

“Reiner. I’m not saying anything one way or the other, but there’s a whole TV show from the States about people who lie about who they are online. You know, catfishing?” Reiner shot a glare at Porco, then looked away from both of them and fidgeted with his fingers. He grabbed his cell phone and looked at something, then stood up. 

“I don’t need to explain anything to you two. I know Bertholdt is real. His dad died and I can’t even be there for him. Fuck off.” Reiner stood up and grabbed his drink, then went back to his room and closed the door. Pieck sighed and shook her head, then crossed her arms. Porco moved his arm from around her shoulder and started squeezing at his knees. 

“Reiner has such a kind heart, Pock. Of course he’d be easy to manipulate. When he cares about someone, all they have to do is say jump and he’ll ask how high.” Pieck found herself feeling a little frustrated. Reiner was too naïve and would blindly follow anyone he loved.He could really be setting himself up to be hurt. “We need to make him see the light.” 

“How do you want to do that? You know how defensive he gets.” Porco asked, standing up and walking to the kitchen. He grabbed a snack from the cabinet and came back, finding Pieck had moved and grabbed her laptop. “If you aren’t careful he’ll freak out.” 

“That’s why we have to present evidence. Reiner is studying to be an engineer, he’s a mathematician. He understands logic. So we need to make him come to the logical conclusion that Bertholdt isn’t who he says he is.” 

“So you want to gather up evidence that Bertholdt is a catfish?” Pieck nodded and stood quickly, her going to their shared bedroom and coming back with her laptop. She opened it up and quickly typed in her password, then went straight to Facebook. “What if he _is_ real?” 

“Then I’ll apologize and let Reiner go be sappy like he always is.” Pieck typed in Reiner’s name and went to his profile, then went to his friends list. It was easy enough to find the profile for one Bertholdt Hoover, her clicking on the name and being greeted by a picture of a cityscape at night. She clicked on it and was greeted by a comment written in Turkish. “His profile picture isn’t a picture of himself.” 

“Why not check the others, then?” Porco suggested, Pieck nodding and clicking through Bertholdt’s profile pictures. Hmm, there was a watercolor painting of a camel, an oil painting of some flowers, a painting of a rhino and a giraffe sitting together, a photograph of a cat with a sunset behind it, a hot air balloon… no photos of himself at all. “Didn’t Reiner say his boyfriend was a painter?” 

“Yeah, but him being a painter doesn’t mean he’s who he says he is. For all we know Reiner is talking to some guy in his forties who’s been painting for years. You know usually it’s older people that avoid putting pictures of themselves on Facebook.” Porco nodded in agreement. Neither of his parents had pictures of themselves on Facebook, but their pages were littered with inspirational quotes and scenic pictures. 

“How many friends does he have? I can’t understand anything, all of what’s written is in Turkish…” Pieck moved the cursor to check how many friends Bertholdt had. Only 53 friends? Bertholdt was a year younger than Reiner, so he should only be a little over eighteen… he should have at least 100 friends if he only added people from school. Plus he’s supposedly lived in Istanbul and Antalya, according to Reiner. 

“His account is locked down, I can’t see much because he’s not my friend. Reiner’s the only mutual friend we have.” Pieck crossed her arms and shook her head. “I can’t friend request Bertholdt and snoop. He’d ask Reiner why I’m requesting to be his friend and Reiner might get suspicious of me. We need to drop the subject and be really casual. We can ask him some questions here and there.” 

“Yeah. Reiner needs to take the rose-tinted glasses off. He’s been seeing this guy for how long?” Porco asked, standing up and stretching out. Pieck closed her computer and started writing down a list of signs Bertholdt was a catfish. 

Locked down account? Check. No pictures at all of himself? Check. An abnormally low number of friends? Check. Cancelling a meeting with some catastrophic event? Check. Catfish would always make up excuses to not meet and garner sympathy. On that show from the USA catfish would always say they had cancer, their loved one died, they were in a car accident... Bertholdt's dad dying fit the bill for a convenient excuse to not meet. 

“Reiner never told me when they got together. Just that he had a boyfriend who was long-distance. I think I remember him telling me and you once a little over a year and a half ago. Around the time we started college. I never really asked and you know you have to ask him things sometimes.” Porco and Pieck stripped off their clothes and put on their pajamas, then crawled into bed together. 

“I don’t want him to get hurt. But if this guy is catfishing him, it’s bound to happen eventually.” Porco said, closing his eyes when Pieck nuzzled into him. “I don’t understand. I have you here and we cuddle and have sex and sleep together at night. He’s giving up real-life intimacy for someone he’s never even met.” 

“Love is a strange thing, Pock. Even if Bertholdt isn’t real, Reiner’s feelings are. We have to be careful. I’m going to ask him a few questions here and there and see what I can get out of him.” Pieck yawned and kissed Porco’s jawline. “I’m beat. School is killing me. I’ll see you in the morning. I love you.” Pieck rolled away onto her side and yawned, then closed her eyes. A smile crossed her face when she felt a large hand rub along her shoulder. 

“I love you too. Good night.” 

  


“I got a few things out of him over the past couple of weeks.” Porco was surprised that when Pieck came in the front door, that was what she had to say. When she set her mind to something, sometimes she could get tunnel vision and forget about everything else. 

“Good evening, Pieck, I love you too.” Porco said sarcastically, Pieck ignoring the comment and plopping down next to him on the couch. She pulled out her evidence that she’d been gathering and a red ink pen, showing her list to her boyfriend. “Hard at work, I see.” 

“Reiner told me he and Bertholdt have never videochatted. I was able to get him to open up by asking what program they used. I teased Reiner about him being bad with technology and he said that Bertholdt is the one refusing to do it because he’s camera shy.” Pieck tapped the point on her list, which she put a star next to. “This is a huge one. Refusal to video chat.” 

“Reiner has pictures of him though, doesn’t he?” Pieck nodded her head, but then tapped another point lower on the page she’d been writing. “No intimate pictures?” 

“I was talking to Reiner the other night while you were at work and he kept denying that Bertholdt had ever sent a dick pic to him. If you’re in a relationship for as long as they supposedly have been, they’d probably be sexting or something but if Bertholdt won’t send intimate pictures then it’s probably because it isn’t him! The pictures Reiner has could be a family member of this Bertholdt person. This also goes along with not videochatting.” 

“We don’t send each other pictures, though.” Pieck looked at Porco, then chuckled and ran a hand along his face. 

“Why would we send each other pictures when you can see it in-person all you want?” Porco flushed at the implication of what Pieck was saying. She leaned up and kissed his cheek, then went back to her paper. “Reiner doesn’t have that. I managed to get him to admit to having phone sex, but a voice is just a voice.” 

“You’ve got a pretty solid list of reasons Bertholdt is probably fake. How are you going to confront Reiner?” 

“We have to be delicate. I don’t want to alienate him. But his feelings are so genuine. We have to help him before he gets his heart broken.” Pieck sighed, her eyes drifting to a picture hanging on the wall by the door. It was the three of them, posing in front of a concert venue. They’d convinced a stranger to take their picture, and Reiner put it up on the wall. She didn’t want to break apart their friendship over a catfish. 

  


(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
Reiner. I want to talk to you.  
  
About what?  
  
Now that my dad’s gone, I don’t know what I’m going to do. All my plans involved staying here in Istanbul and taking care of him.  
  
But now that he’s gone you don’t know what you want to do?  
  
Yeah. I never really considered a future where he died this soon. But I was thinking, maybe if things keep going the way they’re going I could move to Canada one day.  
  
Really? You’d be willing to leave everything in Turkey behind?  
  
For you, yes. I’m not particularly close to my dad’s extended family besides my aunt. And my mom’s family in England… apparently she cut contact with them because they were upset she married a Muslim man. I don’t have a lot here.   
  
What about your friends? What about Annie?  
  
Annie is my closest friend, but she’s leaving Turkey soon, too. She and her father and immigrating to the United States, California specifically.  
  
You’d be closer to her living with me than staying in Turkey.  
  
Yeah. But I’m not worried about Annie. I want to move to Canada and be with you.   
  
Bertholdt. You know that you’re always welcome to stay with me. Live with me. Do anything with me. God, I’d love so bad if you could stay with me and meet my friends and family.  
  
I’m more excited to meet you. I want to meet you before I move to Canada.  
  
I understand. We’ll sort something out. Seni seviyorum.  
  
Yes. We will. Je t’aime.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took forever to edit to post here. I went a different direction than I originally intended but I wanted to add a little more about my dorks getting older before I dove into them being adults and pokkupikku starting to meddle.
> 
> I haven't responded to any comments because I'm busier than I don't even know what. But I appreciate all of them and I love you all so much! <3
> 
> Next chapter: Porco and Pieck are worried about their friend. Reiner _knows_ Bertholdt is real.


	4. Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There are a few places we could go so my girlfriend could wish she were covered in olive oil…” Porco said sarcastically, Pieck catching on.  
> “Oh, Pock. We can do that here.” Porco started to stammer, but Pieck put a finger on his lips to silence him.

“What’re you working on there, Reiner?” Pieck asked whenever she walked into their apartment, finding Reiner sitting at the dining room table with an open book and pencils. He hummed as though to acknowledge her question, then closed the book and stretched himself out. Pieck walked over and took a look at the paper, finding a list of words written in Turkish, with English and French equivalents written out. 

“Oh, I’m just trying to learn some words in Turkish. I’ve been interested in learning Bertholdt’s language but it’s really hard because I can’t talk to him as much as I’d like. He’s moving back to Antalya so I haven’t been able to talk to him much lately. And we talk in English because we want to make the most of our time.” Reiner absentmindedly looked at the paper in front of him. He’d been brushing up on very basic vocabulary; colors and family members for now. More detailed things like grammar and an expanded vocabulary would have to come later when he was able to actually talk to Bertholdt more. 

“What’s he moving back to Antalya for? I thought you said he’s been in Istanbul since he was, what, Gabi’s age?” Reiner hummed and nodded, then put up his papers. Studying his vocabulary needed his attention, and having Pieck around was making it difficult to focus. No matter; he could always do it later, and vocabulary words on the dining table was only going to get him so far. 

“He was about Gabi’s age, yeah. But it’s cheaper to live in Antalya than in Istanbul. His parents built their lives together in Antalya, had their son there, you know. Bertholdt said his father never sold their home in Antalya because he didn’t want to let go of her and what they had. If he weren’t paralyzed, he and Bertholdt would’ve stayed there.” Reiner went to go sit on the couch with Pieck, her grabbing the TV remote and turning it on for background noise. “He’s excited to go back to his childhood home. He’s got some work lined up, since he can’t live off his painting alone.” 

“Mmm. That makes sense. Making a living off art by itself is extremely difficult.” Reiner flipped through the channels and eventually settled on the news, not that anything particularly interesting was going on. “When is he going to come over here?” Pieck tested the waters just a little. Reiner meeting his boyfriend was a little bit of a touchy subject, since he was so upset their plans to meet up had fallen through. It was early summer now; they were supposed to have met up next week. A brief flash of sorrow crossed Reiner’s eyes. 

“…I don’t know. He used the money he saved up for his trip to Canada to move to Antalya. It took him a while to save up.” Reiner fidgeted with his fingers and leaned back into the couch. “I wanted this so bad, Pieck. You have no idea. I just wanted to hold him, even if it was only for a couple of weeks before he had to leave. And to hear his voice. You know how some people sound different on the phone? I wanted to learn if he’s one of those people.” 

“I’m sorry, Reiner.” It hurt her to see her friend so sad. Reiner’s feelings were undeniable, and to see someone as happy as Reiner usually was so deflated was difficult. He still had a lot of money tucked away; Reiner had made plans to take Bertholdt to Yellowknife since it was the best option available to see an aurora during the summer months. Part of her had worried Reiner would funnel it all away to Bertholdt and he’d be broke, but as far as she was aware Reiner had never sent him any money. 

That was in Bertholdt’s favor regarding her theory about him being a catfish, but lots of people never ask for money. There were a lot of missing pieces keeping her from investigating Bertholdt as much as she’d like. 

She couldn’t do a reverse image search of Reiner’s pictures of Bertholdt. He didn’t share them like that. He’d printed them off and had them in frames in his room, but that wasn’t helpful. No searching Bertholdt’s phone number; his number would be international, and Reiner wasn’t calling and texting Bertholdt’s phone number anyways. He probably didn’t even know what it actually was. Had Bertholdt been Canadian or American she’d be suspicious of that, but him being Turkish meant that using the app really was the best option. 

Bertholdt being international was causing problems with her snooping. But everything just seemed… too convenient. Reiner just so happened to befriend a young, handsome man from Turkey? Believable by itself; she had friends on twitter from all over. He spoke English fluently, which was rare in Turkey. Okay. He had a British mother who taught him English. That was convenient. His family seemed to be decently well off, so he was fine in the end despite losing both parents. Convenient. His dad never sold the family home so Bertholdt could just transplant himself back to Antalya? Convenient. His dad died so he didn’t get to meet Reiner? Convenient. Maybe not really, but if Bertholdt were a catfish there was a possibility his dad was fine. 

Reiner was working himself so hard. His mom was worried about him. And Pieck knew his mom was concerned about Bertholdt, but she wasn’t going to say anything. She bent over backwards to not upset her son. Karina didn’t see Reiner too much these days, so that made sense. 

Would an intervention be the best way of handling the situation? Backing Reiner into a corner probably wasn’t a good idea. It had to come from a place of love and concern, because being accusatory would only piss Reiner off. And all she wanted was for her friend to be happy. 

If Bertholdt is real and they ride off into the sunset together, more power to them. Pieck swallowed at the fleeting thought of Reiner skipping off to Turkey to live with his love and never seeing her anymore. 

Reiner stretched out and made a sound next to her. His tank top rode up his belly a little, him pulling it back down before scratching his stomach. He glanced over at Pieck and gave her a small smile. “You want anything to drink? I’m gonna get some juice.” 

She didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t want him to get hurt. He didn’t deserve it. 

  


(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
I’m all moved in, and I’ve started working at one of the resorts here in Antalya. Sometimes tourists can be so abrasive, aren’t they supposed to be relaxed on vacation? (Face With Cold Sweat )  
  
You would think so. Especially where you’re working! Isn’t the point of going to warm beaches to relax?   
  
Yeah. But I’ll deal with it. I don’t want to rely on the money I inherited from dad because it won’t be around forever. I want a new job. If this one doesn’t pan out I think I’ll just quit and use some of dad’s money while I look for something better.  
  
Bertholdt. I was thinking. You can’t come to Canada because you’re dealing with a lot. But what about me coming to Turkey? And coming to see you in Antalya?  
  
I don’t know about that, Reiner. My home is so sparse. There isn’t much here and I don’t want to disappoint you.  
  
You know I don’t care about that. What matters is you. I could meet you and stay in a box. I have all the money I saved for you to come to Canada.  
  
But the money I saved is gone. Our funds are cut in half. And I’m not comfortable with you staying at my home right now.  
  
But Bertholdt, I don’t care about that. I can sleep with you in bed, I can sleep on the damn floor, we don’t need to do anything extravagant. All I care about is you. That’s it.  
  
Reiner. I don’t want you to come to see me right now. It’s a bad time. I have a lot going on.  
  
Reiner?  
  
Are you okay? Why aren’t you texting me back?  
  
Do you want to meet me?  
  
Of course I do.  
  


Reiner sighed and tossed his phone to the side. He blinked back a couple of tears and wiped at his face. His phone vibrated a couple more times, but Reiner didn’t look at the messages. Instead he turned his phone off and put it in the drawer in his nightstand. He stood and stretched his arms, then made his way to the living room. Porco and Pieck were snuggling on the couch. 

He turned away and just went to the kitchen. Living with two lovebirds was hard when his other half was on the other side of the world and didn’t even seem to want to meet. Reiner swallowed and kept his eyes down while he poured himself a glass of wine. If he avoided eye contact, Pieck and Porco might ignore him and he could just be left alone. 

Avoid eye contact, avoid eye contact, just ignore them… 

“Hey, Reiner, come sit with us!” Reiner groaned internally and turned to look at his friends. Pieck met his eyes and frowned, while Porco’s expression softened a little. “Reiner? What’s wrong? Why have you been crying?” 

“Huh?” Reiner felt his cheeks and noticed they were wet. He hadn’t noticed his eyes were leaking; they’d been burning a little, but he’d been distracted by his own thoughts and trying to avoid Pieck. “Oh. It’s nothing.” 

“You’re not a crier. You’re lying.” Blunt as ever. Porco was good at that. Reiner frowned a little but couldn’t deny the accusation. He was feeling incredibly bothered. A pregnant pause hung in the air, only serving to confirm Porco’s accusation. Pieck, Porco and Reiner sat frozen in an uncomfortable silence for a moment until Porco sighed. 

“Come talk to us, Reiner.” Pieck gestured to the empty chair that Reiner usually sat in. The third-wheel chair. Reiner fidgeted with his drink and moved to the seat, sitting down and sipping on his wine. He swirled the glass and watched the wine slosh around before taking another sip. “What’s wrong?” 

“Hmm. I tried broaching the idea of me going to Turkey to meet Bertholdt. He doesn’t want me going out there. He said it’s a bad time and he’s not ready because he just moved. I said it didn’t matter to me. …Is it me? Does he not want to meet me?” Reiner felt his eyes start to burn again. He wiped at his eyes and sniffled, then took a large gulp of his wine. A frustrated expression crossed Reiner’s face after a minute. “Why does he not want to meet me? I’m putting in all this work and I feel like he doesn’t want to meet me in the middle.” 

“Reiner. I’m worried about you. I’m just… concerned that Bertholdt might not be who he says he is.” Pieck wanted to have this conversation when Reiner was in a better mood. But Reiner was getting hurt. Too much. He’d been devastated when Bertholdt couldn’t come to Canada. She’d heard him crying softly to himself in his room at night. Reiner would sometimes get this melancholy look when he saw couples being in love together. And now Reiner was upset again. “You love him so much. And I’m not saying Bertholdt doesn’t love you. I think his feelings are very real. But I’m worried about your relationship.” 

He was quiet and didn’t respond. Reiner took another drink of his wine, then wordlessly went to the kitchen and filled up his glass again. “…What makes you think he isn’t real?” Porco’s eyebrows raised in surprise at Reiner’s reply. He didn’t sound irritated at all. More… defeated. Reiner kept staring down into his drink, not meeting either of their eyes. 

“Reiner. He doesn’t have any real social media presence.” 

“He’s shy.” 

“He won’t videochat with you.” 

“He’s camera shy.” 

“He has like no friends on facebook.” 

“So?” 

“You have like… ten pictures of him. In how long? Those could just be off some random guy’s Instagram.” 

“I already told you he’s camera shy. Is that really such a hard concept?” Reiner started to frown a little while staring down at his drink. A stray tear dripped down his nose and onto his hand. 

“He won’t let you meet him in Turkey.” 

At that, the room went silent again. Reiner breathed in shakily and exhaled heavily. Pieck felt guilty; it hadn’t exactly struck a nerve, because Reiner wasn’t angry. But she hated to make him sad, especially when he was already feeling low. 

“Reiner, I think Bertholdt’s feelings are real. Anyone who’d talk to you for as many years as he has would have to.” Porco broke the silence and took his arm from around Pieck’s shoulders to cross them across his chest. Reiner looked blearily at Porco for a moment, then to Pieck. “Your feelings are real regardless. We aren’t writing off your relationship.” 

“We’re just worried that you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. We love you and don’t want to see you get hurt.” Reiner nodded sadly, then shook his head. A few more tears dripped down his face, then he sighed. 

“Bertholdt is real. I know he is. …I’m not worried that he’s a catfish, Pieck.” Pieck was silent and stared at Reiner, waiting for him to continue. “I just worry that I don’t matter. I feel like he doesn’t care enough about me to let me go meet him. If he can't come here, why can't I go there? I feel like I’m putting more effort into seeing him than he cares to see me.” 

Pieck stood up and walked over to Reiner, pulling him into a hug against her chest. Pieck closed her eyes and ran her fingers through his hair, stroking his hair. Porco watched, but fidgeted in place. Showing affection towards people other than Pieck wasn’t something that came to him easily. Reiner closed his eyes and let Pieck hold him. 

“You matter, Reiner. You’re one of the most important people in the world to me. And Pock. And your mom.” Pieck was silent for a moment. “…And to Bertholdt. Whoever he is. I’m sure.” 

“Thanks, Pieck.” Reiner relaxed and let himself enjoy the feeling of her fingers stroking his head. 

  


(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
Reiner. I’m sorry. You’re the most important person in the world to me. Every day I think about you when I wake up and the nights when I dream about you are the best. Getting to hold you in my dreams makes waking up hard, but it’s okay because I get to talk to you for real.   
  
What I want to say is please don’t think I don’t want to meet you. More than anything I want to hold you against me. I want to kiss you, and hold your hand. I want to make love and then you’d laugh and kiss my cheeks afterward. I don’t want to let you down. I’m so sorry if what I said made it seem like I don’t want you here.  
  
Bertholdt. I’d give anything to meet you. I’m sorry if I pressured you. I know you have a lot going on. Your dad passing, uprooting from Istanbul to go back to Antalya, taking a stressful job. It isn’t fair for me to be too upset. I just want to feel like you want me there, I guess.  
  
God, Reiner, more than anything… my bed feels so empty sometimes. I felt awful when I thought about what I said. I would gladly sleep outside in the cold in Canada if it meant seeing you. I’m so happy you want to see me so badly. I promise we’ll figure something out.  
  
Seni seviyorum.  
  
Je t’aime aussi. When I get to see you one day I’m not letting you go.  
  


  


“We need to all go on a vacation together.” Pieck said, stretched out on the sofa. Porco was sitting cross-legged on the floor, because he didn’t want her to move. She was so cute when she curled up and rested her head in her arms like she was doing now. Reiner was in his chair, same as always. He had talked about buying a new one and replacing it, but never followed through. “We’re halfway done with college now. We should celebrate.” 

“I’m not celebrating anything, though. I’m not in college.” Pieck stuck out her tongue at her boyfriend, Reiner raising a brow at the interaction while he scrolled through his twitter feed. Connie had become a well-known shitposter, and in truth Reiner was a little proud of him. 

“Then celebrate me being halfway done. Or do you need a reason to go out with me?” 

“Where would you want to go?” Reiner asked, smiling when Pieck starting messing with Porco’s hair. Porco scowled but made no move to stop her. Instead he took his fingers and fixed his hair when she was done, making no move to stop her when she started messing with his hair again. 

“Somewhere really warm. You know the winter is going to be cold and I want to go somewhere really nice.” Pieck wanted to feel the sun warming her up. Sometimes she wished she could turn into a lizard and just lay on a heat rock, but then Porco would tell her she was saying weird things again. 

“How about Florida? Or one of the beaches in the States?” Porco suggested, Pieck shaking her head in response. 

“No, I don’t want to go to Florida. Too many weird things happen down there, and I was thinking we could go somewhere other than the States. I mean, they’re right there. We can go to the States any time we want to.” A scoff from Reiner. 

“Seems like you’d be right at home in Florida. Have you heard of Florida Man? If we were American, you’d be Florida Woman.” Pieck tossed a pillow at Reiner in response to his joke. “Don’t be mad because I’m right.” 

“Have any other ideas, then?” Reiner hummed and leaned back, thinking to himself. 

“Well, I don’t have too much money. Maybe the States would be my best bet if I want to go on vacation with you guys somewhere. Pieck shook her head and gave Reiner a genuine look. 

“Reiner. Ever since we were kids we never left you behind because of money. Remember when I bought you that stuffed tiger at the zoo’s gift shop because you didn’t have any money?” Reiner closed his eyes and smiled at the memory. “You know Pock and I have plenty of money, our parents are fine. Spend what you can and we can help with the rest.” 

“I don’t deserve friends like you.” 

“Yes, you do.” Pieck was tempted to toss the other pillow at Reiner, but didn’t want to not have anything to lay her head on. “Where should we go? I don’t want to go anywhere cold.” 

“What about somewhere in Europe?” Porco suggested, getting hums in response. “I wouldn’t mind Germany. I’ve always wanted to go on the autobahn.” 

“We aren’t planning a vacation around a highway, Pock. Besides, going like 300 kilometers an hour isn’t something everyone does. It’s probably just like a normal highway most of the time.” Porco didn’t reply to Pieck’s admittedly sound logic. Damn her, being the smart one. “We could go to Switzerland and go skiing, and see the Alps.” 

“You’re literally the one who just said you wanted to go somewhere warm.” Reiner countered, Pieck sheepishly laughing in response. “I think the Mediterranean sounds like what you want.” 

“We could go to Greece. I could see all those tanned Mediterranean men. And they still wouldn’t be as cute as my Pock!” Pieck leaned down and kissed the top of Porco’s head, him blushing and crossing his arms. His eyes drifted to Reiner, like he wished he hadn’t witnessed that. Reiner only gave him a sly smile in return. 

“There are a few places we could go so my girlfriend could wish she were covered in olive oil…” Porco said sarcastically, Pieck catching on. 

“Oh, Pock. We can do that here.” Porco started to stammer, but Pieck put a finger on his lips to silence him. “You’re right though. We could go to Greece, Italy, Cyprus, Spain, Turkey…” Pieck gasped and perked up, excitedly looking at Reiner. “Let’s go to Turkey!” 

“W-What?” Reiner flushed, Pieck giving him an expectant, knowing smile. “Why do you say that?” 

“I wanted to see how you responded. But you could tell Bertholdt we’re coming to Turkey. If he refuses to meet you, we can go to Istanbul and have a good time. If he’s willing to meet you, we can go to Antalya. Didn’t he say that’s a big tourist spot?” 

“W-well, yeah, but…” 

“So let’s go to Turkey in a few weeks! That’ll give us time to take some leave from work and get everything ready. We can go see mosques, and go to the beach, we can go to either Istanbul or Antalya. If Bertholdt is willing to, we can meet him too. Either way, it’ll be a good time.” 

“I don’t know, that sounds like a lot…” 

“You’re just flustered because you’re afraid of Bertholdt. If it were anywhere else you wouldn’t be stuttering.” Porco’s bluntness strikes again. Reiner felt his stomach twisting. He felt his face heat up, and his fingers started fidgeting with one another. “I’m fine with that. I need to buy new swimming trunks.” 

“I’ll go buy a new swimsuit too. And I need to buy some new clothes, the weather is different out there. I’ll need to look into travel visas, we all have Canadian passports so that’ll be fine. I want to try real baklava, and kebabs, maybe I should go to the bookstore and buy a travel guide, and then…” 

Pieck’s rambling faded from Reiner’s attention, him grabbing his cellphone and looking at a picture of Bertholdt. Was he going along with this? Pieck was so spontaneous, and Porco just went along with her. Was she going to drag him across the world? 

He glanced up and watched her ramble, Porco listening to her and nodding in response to her words. 

How lucky was he to have them in his life? 

  


(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
I have some big news, Bertholdt.  
  
Really? What’s going on, Reiner? Is everything okay?  
  
Yeah, I’m fine. I’m coming to Turkey soon. In about a month and a half.  
  
What?!  
  
Pieck and Porco wanted to go on vacation and they’re bringing me along. It was more Pieck wants to go and she’s dragging me and Porco along, actually.  
  
Why Turkey?  
  
We want to go somewhere warm. The Mediterranean came up, then Pieck got excited and said we should go to Turkey.  
  
Where in Turkey are you going?  
  
Bertholdt. I don’t want to be dramatic. But I have to know. Please tell me. Will you meet me?  
  
This is so sudden, Reiner, you know I have a job and everything…  
  
We aren’t going to be there tomorrow. It’s a month and a half. Actually, it’s closer to two months. We’re leaving in seven weeks. Please, just tell me, Bertholdt. Will you meet me, or no?  
  
Reiner...  
  
Are you flying in to Istanbul?  
  
That's the plan.  
  
I’ll meet you in Istanbul, then. I promise. On my life, I’ll be there.  
  
We were thinking about going to Antalya too. We’re going to be there for two weeks.  
  
I’ll show you Antalya. Or Istanbul. Anything you want.   
  
I promise. You’re so important to me. I’ll make time for you. I can’t let an opportunity like this slip away.   
  
Seni seviyorum. I’m so nervous. But excited too. I want to introduce you to Turkish tea.  
  
Je t’aime. Someday I’m going to show you Canada. I’m going to take you to see the auroras and I’m going to make you a real hockey fan.  
  
I’m going to think of what you need to do to while in Turkey. I’ll make it special for you. And your friends.  
  
But mostly you.  
  


  


“Calm down, Reiner. Here, take my stress cube…” Pieck reached into her carry-on bag and grabbed her toy, leaning over and handing it to Reiner. They were in Algeria, getting ready to board the plane that would be taking them to Istanbul. The flight from Montreal to Algiers felt endless, and they had a layover waiting for the next flight. “It’s going to be okay, alright?” 

Pieck had been worried. She still had serious reservations about Bertholdt being exactly who he said he was. She had no doubt in her mind that Bertholdt loved Reiner. But she was worried that someone else was lurking behind the messages, and that Reiner would meet someone he didn’t recognize. 

Reiner wasn’t shallow. He fell in love with Bertholdt before he ever saw a picture, she’d learned. Apparently, he saw a picture for the first time after the ‘I love you’ exchanges started. But at the same time, this image of Bertholdt had been built up in Reiner’s head, and the trust would be severely damaged if Bertholdt had been lying for so long. 

“I feel like I’m going to be sick, the anticipation is killing me…” Reiner mumbled, Pieck moving to run a hand along his back. “How long is this flight supposed to be?” They sat down in their seats; Reiner was by the window, Porco was next to him, and Pieck was next to Porco. 

“Algiers to Istanbul is about three and a half hours. After everything is said and done, I’d say it’ll be about four hours. It’ll be about… three in the afternoon when we get to Istanbul.” Porco said, reading a paper he’d scribbled on. They’d made a hotel reservation in Istanbul for three days. Supposedly Bertholdt would be taking them to Antalya whenever they wrapped up their time in Istanbul, and he had made up space in his home for them. But if something unfortunate happened with Bertholdt, then they were prepared to stay in the hotel until it was time to go back to Canada. 

“God, help me…” Reiner stared vacantly out the window of the airplane, Porco taking notice of his shallow breathing. For a moment he was sure Reiner was going to pass out and he was going to drag his friend out of the plane once it landed. He only had so much time to worry about Reiner when the kid behind him kept kicking the back of his chair, though. And Pieck was snoozing, her headphones playing some classical music to soothe her. So much for chatting with her to pass the time. 

“Reiner. It’s going to be okay.” Porco squeezed Reiner’s shoulder whenever Reiner nervously glanced back at him. An exhale, and a silent nod before Reiner went back to looking out the window. His fingers started tapping nervously along his leg whenever the plane started descending. He was practically shivering by the time he was off the plane, Pieck keeping a hand on his back to help him relax. 

“Geez, Reiner, I haven’t seen you this worked up since your chemistry and differential equations finals were back-to-back on the same day. You’re a wreck.” Pieck’s statement of the obvious made Porco glance at Reiner, him looking pale. “Where are we supposed to meet him at, anyways?” 

“Here in the airport, there’s the city’s name in big letters on the ground. The I-S-T is in red because that’s the airport’s code. He said he’ll meet us there since it’s a landmark of sorts here in the airport.” The Istanbul Airport was huge, and the three of them meandered around after grabbing their luggage looking for the letters to meet Bertholdt by. 

“This airport is so much bigger than the one in Montreal, I almost feel dizzy walking around in here.” Porco remarked, finding himself trailing along behind Pieck. There were so many people moving around back and forth, it made him feel like they weren’t really moving around at all. “I bet the Atlanta airport in the States is mind-boggling…” 

They felt like they were walking around in circles until eventually, they found the letters spelling out Istanbul. Pieck looked excitedly at the letters and pulled out her cellphone. “Let’s have someone take a picture of us with the letters!” Pieck spotted a stranger and asked for them to take a picture, the three of them smiling with the letters. Pieck nodded in satisfaction at the picture, then took her phone back. 

“Bertholdt is supposed to meet us here, right?” Porco asked, him leaning against railing behind the letters. He had started to lean against the L, but decided against it because that would probably get security to make them go away. Reiner nodded and started chewing on his fingernails. “Does he know what time the plane landed?” 

“Yeah, I told him that we were landing and I messaged him that we were here just a few minutes ago.” Reiner fidgeted nervously and looked at the time on his phone. They’d landed thirty minutes ago and Bertholdt wasn’t here… “Maybe he’s just been held up?” 

“I mean, this place is absolutely massive. He might be stuck behind a long line of people.” Pieck observed, watching a large group of people drift together. Were they all together? Or just from the same flight and hadn’t dispersed yet? They kept walking until they blended back into the background. 

“Bertholdt is supposed to be really tall, right? How tall is he? We might see him peeking out over the top of other people’s heads.” 

“He’s supposed to be 198cm.” Porco’s brows rose in surprise. He hadn’t ever really thought about it, but he’d always imagined Bertholdt being the same height as Reiner. Photographs didn’t really convey height well. The thought of him being so tall was… interesting. “Tall and tan.” 

They kept standing for a few minutes, Reiner’s expression falling as time went on. Pieck kept running a hand along the back of Reiner’s shoulder while they waited. About thirty minutes passed, Reiner’s eyes getting misty. “Reiner?” 

“He isn’t answering my messages…” Reiner said, glancing down at his phone. The messages weren’t showing read receipts, so Bertholdt hadn’t even looked at them. Part of him felt comforted knowing Bertholdt wasn’t leaving him on read. 

“How long do you want to wait, Reiner?” Pieck asked, squeezing the meat of his arm. Reiner sighed and lowered his head, appreciating Pieck’s comforting touch. “We’ll stay however long you want to.” 

“I don’t know, Pieck.” Reiner closed his eyes and felt them starting to burn. He wiped at his eyes, them starting to feel misty but not necessarily wet from tears. Pieck pulled away and glanced at Porco, who looked like he was eyeing passerby’s snacks. 

“Hey, Reiner… Pock and I are going to buy some snacks. We’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?” Reiner nodded and watched his friends disappear. Suddenly he felt like he was a bodyguard for a bunch of luggage. 

Reiner breathed in heavily and closed his eyes, resting them. All this stress and worry was getting to him. He almost felt as nervous as he did during finals last semester. And that was a bad feeling to have. 

“…Reiner?” Reiner opened his eyes and saw a tall, tanned man with a bouquet of flowers. Daisies and red roses. Green eyes looked down at him, a nervous expression etched onto the man’s face. Reiner had seen the face thousands of times before, but it was still like he’d never seen it before. 

“Bertholdt?” Reiner reached out and touched Bertholdt’s shoulder, as if to make sure he was real. Bertholdt swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. A shaky nod came, Reiner feeling his eyes well up. Reiner grabbed at Bertholdt and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, burying his head into Bertholdt’s shoulder. “Are you real…?” 

“I’m real, Reiner.” Long arms returned the hug, Reiner feeling the bouquet against his backside. He couldn’t help but feel his cheeks wet, Bertholdt taking notice of Reiner’s body shivering. Bertholdt pulled away from the hug and handed the flowers to Reiner. He brought a hand to Reiner’s face and wiped away the tears. “Please don’t cry, bi tanem...” 

“Oh, Bertholdt, you’re here, you’re really here.” Reiner sniffled and looked at the flowers. He smiled and shook his head, smelling the sweet aroma from the flowers. “I’m not upset, I’m just so happy.” 

“Reiner. Je t’aime. So much.” Reiner laughed at Bertholdt’s words. The French sounded so cute with his Turkish accent. Bertholdt’s voice… it sounded a little different in person. Better. He wanted Bertholdt to ramble on about something just to listen. 

“Seni seviyorum.” Bertholdt chuckled and leaned forward, pecking Reiner’s forehead. Bertholdt pulled Reiner into a hug again, letting Reiner nuzzle his shoulder. He’d never been one for public affection, but for Reiner he’d make an exception. 

  


Pieck and Porco held their drinks in their hands while they walked back to the letters, both of them irritated with the large crowds. It got grating after a while. Pieck noticed Reiner first, her stopping and Porco bumping into her where he was slightly behind her. “Look, Pock.” 

“Huh? Oh…” Reiner was hugging a really tall man, who handed him a bouquet of flowers. The man kissed Reiner’s forehead, then Reiner leaned in again. “He’s here. Bertholdt is real.” 

“I’ve never been so happy to be wrong. Let’s let them have a moment. We can finish our snacks and then meet up.” 


	5. Turkey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt drank more of his tea and watched Reiner sipping on his own. His goal of getting Reiner hooked seemed closer than ever.

“So you’re the infamous Bertholdt I’ve heard so much about.” Bertholdt hummed and sipped at the tea he had gotten. Probably his third cup that day, and surely there’d be much more. He hadn’t expected Reiner’s friends to be so… _small!_

“Yes. I’ve waited for years to meet my Reiner. I remember the first time I ever talked to him. I was only nine, so it’s been about ten years now.” Bertholdt thought back to his days on neopets. Were his old pets still there? He and Reiner had met on a neoboard about the fountain faerie. Reiner had gotten a fountain faerie quest and he’d been so jealous. “I feel like I’m going to wake up back in Antalya, but I already bit my tongue and I’m still here.” 

Reiner kept staring at Bertholdt, but he’d been warned beforehand that Turkey was a little more conservative regarding affection in public; after they’d left the airport, Bertholdt had shied away from holding hands in public and kissing. When they took their luggage to the hotel, Bertholdt had been beyond affectionate and Porco had rolled his eyes at the couple. But as soon as they were in public again Bertholdt kept a small distance. “Mon amour. Mon nounours.” 

Pieck chuckled and Porco shook his head at Reiner’s words, but Bertholdt only cocked his head. “Eh? What’s that mean, Reiner?” 

“Hehe. Don’t worry about it.” Reiner teased, sticking his tongue out. Bertholdt raised a brow and shook his head. 

“You’re disgusting, Reiner.” Porco commented, prompting Bertholdt to start to blush deeply. He looked flustered, drawing the attention of his company. 

“Is he saying sexual things? Out here?” Bertholdt asked shyly, Pieck laughing at the question. She shook her head and took a sip of her tea. There was some bread, too, at their small table. Porco had been scarfing food down, having been entranced by the taste. 

“No. He’s just calling you his teddy bear.” 

“It isn’t fun if you just tell him, Pieck!” Reiner complained, Bertholdt turning to look at Reiner. 

“Well I don’t have anyone to worry about translating what I say, so I can call you whatever I want. Uğur böceğim.” Bertholdt laughed at his own teasing towards Reiner, then shook his head. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to call you that. It doesn’t suit you.” 

“What does it mean?” Reiner asked, his cheeks going rosy at Bertholdt’s new nickname. “Is it bad?” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Bertholdt moved a hand under the table and squeezed Reiner’s leg, then pulled his hand back away. “It just doesn’t suit you is all. Truthfully, in my head I’ve always called you aşkım. My love.” 

“So what all are we going to do tonight? We have three nights in Istanbul before we go to Antalya. Not to come across impatient, I’m just excited.” Bertholdt laughed a little and shook his head, Pieck finding herself comforted by his gesture. 

“It’s okay, our attitudes about time are a little more, ah… relaxed, I guess you could say, than in America and Canada. I was thinking we could go and smoke nargile.” Bertholdt drank more of his tea and watched Reiner sipping on his own. His goal of getting Reiner hooked seemed closer than ever. 

“Nargile?” Porco asked, cocking his head. He was in love with this bread, Bertholdt had said it was called simit. His belly was going to start hurting soon if he kept it up. 

“Tourists and lots of people call it hookah. But I like to call it nargile. If we go to Tophane there are lots of nargile cafes. We can smoke lots of different flavors. I like the peach, but there’s mint, apple, banana, strawberry… just don’t eat any of the peanuts, not even a little bit, unless you want to get charged for it.” 

“Hmm, I don’t know… I’m not really a smoker, I’ve never even smoked a cigarette.” Reiner said, finding himself a little flustered at Bertholdt’s suggestion. Smoking definitely wasn’t something that’d even crossed his mind, if he were being completely honest. 

“Come on, Reiner, live a little!” Pieck said excitedly. 

“Hey, Reiner, it’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But I’m not a smoker either, I never smoke cigarettes or anything like that. I only smoke a little nargile every now and again. You’ll be fine if you do smoke.” Bertholdt said. Reiner noticed that whenever Bertholdt spoke he looked directly at whoever it was he was speaking to. It made him acutely aware of the fact that he and his friends _didn’t_ do that. Must be a cultural thing. 

“I’m down for some hookah. Sounds fun.” Porco finished up the last bit of simit and finished his tea. This food… it was good. He wanted more, still. Bertholdt gestured for the others to stand, him paying for everything. Reiner had felt proud of picking up on some Turkish over the past couple of years, but listening to Bertholdt speaking it fluently made him feel self-conscious of his abilities. 

Istanbul had such a nice charm to it that they’d never felt in Canada. Porco kept buying snacks from food carts, finding himself addicted to the different foods. A sad thought crossed his mind when he thought about going back to the food back home. Maybe Bertholdt knew how to cook and could show Reiner a few things… 

“Okay, let’s get to it!” Bertholdt had led them to a nargile lounge, and there was an implication between him and the staff that he’d been there before. Alas, all three of them were unable to follow the conversation between Bertholdt and the staff members. “You guys agreed on the apple tobacco, right?” 

“Yeah, since the cappuccino tobacco got vetoed.” Reiner shot a glare at Porco, getting a middle finger in return. Reiner chewed inside his cheek and sat down at the table. They got an outside table, with a view of the Asian side of the city. It was getting to be dusk, the city lighting up across the water. 

“This place is great. I came here for my eighteenth birthday.” Reiner flushed and remembered that day well. “The food is really good too. But we already ate so I’ll just get us the tobacco. The staff will take care of setting it up.” 

It took no time at all for the staff to set up the hookah, even packing the tobacco and lighting the coals for them. Reiner, Pieck and Porco looked on in fascination at the bowl, a hollowed-out orange. Bertholdt took the hose and gestured towards the three. “Who wants to go first?” 

“How do you do it?” Pieck asked, reaching out and taking the hose. Bertholdt took the hose back and took her mouthpiece, putting it onto the hose for her before handing it back. “Oh.” 

“You just put on the mouthpiece like that, and breathe in like you would naturally. Slow and easy.” Pieck did as she was told, then handed the hose back to Bertholdt. He took her mouthpiece off, then put his own on and took a pull. “I love this stuff… By the way, this is meant to be really casual. It should take about an hour to smoke this.” He passed the hose to Reiner and gave his boyfriend a relaxed smile. 

“Oooh, I can smell the apple…” Reiner took a pull and closed his eyes. This had to be more pleasant than smoking a cigarette. It definitely smelled better, at the very least. He passed the hose to Porco, all of them taking turns and chatting to get to know Bertholdt better. 

Pieck noticed Bertholdt started to seem tired after a while. He must be an introvert, and he was pushing himself. “Want to go back to the hotel?” Pieck asked after they finished up, Bertholdt looking at her quizzically. “I’m beat, personally, we flew in from Algiers and all…” Truthfully she wasn’t beat but Bertholdt looked like he was running out of steam. 

“Sure?” Reiner leaned over and rested his head on Bertholdt’s shoulder, Bertholdt smiling at the gesture. “Okay. Give me a second and I’ll get a taxi for us.” 

Almost none of the taxi drivers spoke English, and thank god Bertholdt was there to handle things for them because he just so easily took care of everything. In no time they were in a taxi, Bertholdt sitting in the front seat and talking Turkish to the man driving the car. And just like that, they were back at the hotel. 

“Aren’t you glad to have me here?” Bertholdt chuckled, taking Reiner’s hand once they were finally inside. 

  


“It’s hard being so social…” Bertholdt complained privately once it was just him and Reiner in the hotel room. It was eleven now, them having stayed out into the night. Pieck and Porco had booked a separate room for Reiner directly next to theirs; if Bertholdt had been real and met up with them, they’d get a private room. If not, Reiner wouldn’t be stuck with Pieck and Porco as the third wheel in the hotel room. Either way, they all got their privacy. Their money seemed to go pretty far in Turkey, all things considered. Probably further than in the States, anyways. “I like your friends, I just need a break.” 

“Don’t push yourself too hard, Bertholdt. I know you’re shy and trying really hard. Relax. Now it’s just you and me.” Reiner patted the bed next to him, Bertholdt closing his eyes and leaning against Reiner. “Part of me still feels like you aren’t really here. Even with you here leaning on me.” 

“Bir rüya gerçek gibi olur…” Bertholdt nuzzled closer into Reiner and relaxed while Reiner rubbed circles into his shoulder. The two of them stood after a moment and went onto the balcony, Reiner scooting the chairs together so they were next to one another. They both sat down and looked at the view of the Asian side of Istanbul across the river. Reiner reached over and grabbed Bertholdt’s hand, linking their fingers together. “Thank you, Reiner.” 

“For what? We haven’t really done anything today. I should be thanking you for helping out my friends and me, we’d just be meandering around aimlessly without you…” Bertholdt squeezed Reiner’s hand and turned, bringing Reiner’s hand up to his face and kissing it. 

“No, Reiner. Let me tell you something. Her zaman fırtınadan sonraki gökkuşağım olduğun için teşekkürler.” Bertholdt kissed along Reiner’s knuckles again, and for a moment Reiner saw extreme vulnerability in Bertholdt’s eyes. “It means ‘thank you for always being my rainbow after the storm.’ The past few years, every time something would happen, you were there to talk to me and make me feel better. I’m so, so sorry I disappeared the way I did when mom died… but thank you for being here for me when dad died. Having you there, even if you weren’t next to me physically, was more than I could’ve ever asked for.” 

“Bertholdt. Mon ange. I’ll be here for you no matter what. That’s what you do for people you love.” Reiner brought a hand to Bertholdt’s cheek and stroked it before pecking his lips. “I know if something happened to me… if my mom died, you’d be there for me all the same. Because you love me. And I love you.” 

“Reiner. Can… can we go see dad tomorrow? I know that it isn’t the most fun thing to do, and you’re on vacation and all, but it would mean a lot to me, and-” Bertholdt started fidgeting while he spoke, finding himself feeling nervous before Reiner put a finger to his lips. 

“Of course I will. You’re so important to me, and if it means a lot to you I’ll do it in a heartbeat.” Reiner paused and held both of Bertholdt’s hands, running his thumbs along the back of Bertholdt’s hands. “Your dad… he always sounded fun when you talked about him these past few years. I’m sorry I never got to meet him. I’ll go with you to see him.” 

“What about Porco and Pieck?” Reiner shook his head at the question. 

“We’re in _Istanbul._ They can find something to do by themselves for a couple of hours. And I want to spend time with you, just the two of us.” Bertholdt let his eyes close when Reiner leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, a hand moving to run through his hair. A chuckle, Reiner pulling away with half-lidded eyes. “Your hair is so soft. Like a cloud.” 

“My Reiner, I love you. Je t’aime. Seni seviyorum. No matter how I say it.” Bertholdt kissed Reiner back, the two of them scooting as close together as they could. “I think I’ve always loved you. Maybe that’s why I tried so hard to find you. My heart had been beating so fast when I found you again on facebook years ago. And then you messaged me back and I was so happy.” 

“Mon ange. You’re perfect. I’m so lucky you found me. Where would I be now if you hadn’t?” Bertholdt shook his head and kissed Reiner’s forehead. 

“I don’t want to think about that. Because I wouldn’t have you here with me. You’re all that matters to me right now.” Bertholdt stood and gestured for Reiner to go back into the hotel room with him. They sat on the end of the bed, Reiner nuzzling into Bertholdt’s neck and smelling Bertholdt’s faded cologne. Bertholdt chuckled at the sound of Reiner sniffing at his neck. “Citrus musk. My favorite. I wish you were able to be closer to me today so you could’ve smelled it before it faded.” 

“Did you bring more? I like it.” Reiner teased, pulling away from Bertholdt’s neck and pecking a kiss to Bertholdt’s nose. 

“I put it in the bathroom with my toothbrush and toothpaste when we were here unpacking some of your stuff earlier.” 

“Will you go put a little on?” Reiner gave Bertholdt the puppy-dog eyes, and blinked at him a couple of times. Bertholdt felt his heart nearly collapse when Reiner gave him pouty lips, so he nodded quickly and made his way to the bathroom. 

Citrus musk. It was so pleasant. If Reiner noticed it in the airport, he hadn’t said anything. Bertholdt had almost been disappointed but he and Reiner had both been so caught up with everything else that it hadn’t even mattered in the end. He didn’t need to go out of his way to impress Reiner anyways. The bouquet he’d gotten was in a vase in the other room, but Reiner kept fawning over them so that hadn’t been a flop at all. 

Bertholdt put a spritz of cologne on both sides of his neck and went back to the other room. He blushed at the sight, Reiner having stripped down to his underwear. He was laying down waiting for Bertholdt, him gesturing for Bertholdt to lay with him. Reiner’s intentions were clear as day with the condom and clear bottle sitting innocently on the nightstand. 

“Reiner?” Bertholdt sat next to Reiner and felt strong arms pull him down, followed by warm, wet kisses to his neck. 

“Bertholdt, fais-moi l'amour.” Reiner breathed hotly into the other’s ear. Bertholdt swallowed and put his hands onto Reiner’s shoulders, squeezing tightly. Reiner was giving him a look he’d only dreamed of before. 

“What does that mean?” Reiner didn’t give an answer, but moved to unzip Bertholdt’s pants. He went back to Bertholdt’s neck, Bertholdt having to stifle a chuckle when Reiner kept sniffing his neck. 

“Bertholdt… fais-moi l'amour, toute la nuit.” Reiner moved to suck on Bertholdt’s neck, then closed his eyes and sighed when Bertholdt kissed him back. “S'il te plaît.” 

Bertholdt was not a stupid man, and quickly got the hint. 

  


_Thud… thud… thud…_

Porco’s eyes slid open, him feeling groggy. What time was it? His vision was fuzzy, but started to clear up with each blink. Three in the morning? He groaned and turned around in bed, scooting forward to spoon Pieck. She could sleep through a hurricane. They really were opposites in a lot of mundane ways. 

“Plus fort, plus profond… Oui! Baise-moi comme ça! C’est trop bon…” Porco’s brows furrowed intensely when he noticed the sound of the familiar language. Were the walls thin? Was this a fever dream? Was he awake right now or lucid dreaming? “Bertholdt, tu me rends fou…” 

“Evet, Reiner, evet! İyi hissettiriyor... çok yakışıklısın…” Realization set in and Porco couldn’t help but pull away from Pieck and sit up, her not stirring in the slightest. There was definitely thudding, and that was definitely Reiner’s voice uttering all sorts of lewd things in French. Why was he talking in French anyways?! Bertholdt couldn’t understand it! And then there was whatever jibberish Bertholdt was moaning through the walls. 

Porco pulled a pillow over his head, but being aware of the situation only made it that much more uncomfortable and it only made him that much more awake. He got into his bag and grabbed a melatonin to help him sleep again. 

…And now he knew what Reiner having an orgasm sounded like. Fucking hell. He wanted to die. Or at least not see Reiner for like… two or three days. Porco looked at Pieck again. Out like a light. None the wiser. What a lucky girl. He scooted closer to Pieck and spooned her, trying to distract himself with her comforting warmth. 

“Aaahh~ Reiner, lütfen benimle evlen…” And with that, Porco was ready for death. His eyes narrowed, him able to hear them talking through the walls. He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to listen in but distracted by the voices. 

“What did that mean, Bertholdt?” Reiner asked. His voice sounded tired. But affectionate. 

“O-oh, uh… well… it’s just a sex thing… Don’t worry about it. It uh, doesn’t really have an English translation.” Their voices quieted down, their idle pillow talk and soft laughs softening until he couldn’t hear them at all anymore. The melatonin and Pieck were helping him, Porco’s eyes feeling heavy. And if he slept that made him that much closer to more simit… 

“Bertholdt, get on your belly for me. J'ai encore envie de toi.” Porco internally groaned, but he was still being pulled under by the sweet release of sleep. 

“You talking in French is such a turn on, my god…” Bertholdt said. Porco wasn’t sure he’d be able to look his new friend in the eyes again, but that didn’t matter anyways. Pieck’s steady breathing lulled him to sleep all the same. 

  


Bertholdt had taken Reiner away from the usual touristy spots of Istanbul on the way to go to where his father had been buried. Part of Reiner felt weird, because it was almost like a switch flipped as far as affection from Bertholdt went; in the hotel room and in private Bertholdt was so physically affectionate and sweet, but in public Bertholdt wouldn’t even hold his hand. 

Cultural differences, Reiner supposed. And it was true, Turkey and Canada were different in a lot of ways, though homosexuality didn’t seem to be an issue for the most part in Istanbul. According to Bertholdt, Istanbul and Antalya were both pretty progressive as far as homosexuality was concerned. Public affection was frowned upon for straight couples, too. 

There’d be time for affection later. Now wasn’t really appropriate anyways. 

“The grave markers here are plain compared to what I’ve seen in American movies. Most people in Turkey are Muslim. My dad was. And so extravagant markers and such are frowned upon for the most part.” Bertholdt explained while they walked, Reiner having noticed the simple graves. Bertholdt had a small, simple wreath with daisies. “My dad said mom loved daisies, so I thought he’d like this one.” 

“It’s a sweet gesture, Bertholdt.” Reiner said, looking at the small wreath. Bertholdt hadn’t talked much about his mother, but he was a lot younger when she had died. His father died after Bertholdt became an adult, albeit a young one. There were a few people in the cemetery, but everyone minded their own business and focused on their own family members and friends. “It’s beautiful, but simple.” 

“Dad wasn’t very materialistic. He said the most expensive thing he’d ever bought was my mom’s engagement ring, because she deserved the best.” They made their way, Bertholdt stopping at a grave that didn’t stick out from any of the others. Reiner glanced at the name on the tombstone. Mustafa Hoover? 

Bertholdt pushed the small wreath into the ground by the grave, but was very careful to neither stand on it nor sit on it. Bertholdt sat cross-legged on the ground, then pat the ground next to him for Reiner to sit. “The wreath is lovely, Bertholdt.” 

“I miss dad. It’s only been a couple of months and my whole life has been upended. I used to complain when I was a teenager that I had to help him with things because he was paralyzed. I wish I could take it all back.” Bertholdt sniffled a little, Reiner scooting a little closer to run a hand up and down his back. “It isn’t fair. I just want my dad back.” 

“It’ll be okay, Bertholdt. I know that he knew you loved him. It was obvious to me every time you talked about him.” It hurt to watch Bertholdt be in so much pain. Bertholdt shook his head and let himself cry. He buried his face in his hands and leaned forward. After a moment he felt pressure, Reiner leaning on him and putting an arm around his shoulder. “It’s okay. Say whatever you need to. You always said your dad liked listening to what you had to say.” 

“Seni özledim. Keşke geri dönebilseydin. Sana tekrar çay yapmak istiyorum. Reiner'ı çok isterdin.” Bertholdt paused for a moment, his mouth set into a hard line. He turned and looked at Reiner for a second, then back at his father’s grave. “Ama yine senin sevginle olmalısın. Annemin seni özlediğini biliyorum. Ama şimdi seni özlüyorum. Seni kaybedeceğimi hiç düşünmemiştim. Babam olmana sevindim. Sarılmaları özledim. Gitmiş olsan bile, kalbimdesin.” 

Reiner had absolutely no idea what Bertholdt had just said, but after he was finished Bertholdt turned around and buried his head into Reiner’s neck, wrapping his arms around Reiner’s shoulders. Reiner felt his shoulder get wet with tears, while Bertholdt’s body quaked. Reiner closed his eyes and let Bertholdt cry, him rubbing soothing circles onto Bertholdt’s back. 

How much time had passed by the time Bertholdt had stopped crying, Reiner couldn’t be sure. But eventually red-rimmed eyes met his own, Bertholdt shaking his head and wiping at his face. Reiner brought a hand to Bertholdt’s face and wiped away a tear with his thumb. “Are you okay, Bertholdt? Do you want me to do anything for you?” 

A tired laugh, then a shake of Bertholdt’s head. “You’re the one on vacation in a new country and here I am dragging you to cemeteries. I’m sorry, Reiner.” Reiner shook his head and pulled Bertholdt in for another hug. He shook his head and spoke quietly and deliberately. 

“Don’t be sorry. You’re sharing your feelings about something important to you. I’m glad you trust me enough to let me be here.” Reiner pulled away again. He had to resist the urge to kiss away Bertholdt’s tears because he was unsure if it’d be appropriate in Turkey, or to Bertholdt. “I love you. That means being here for you even when you’re hurting. You can’t be a happy tour guide all the time.” 

“Thank you, Reiner.” Bertholdt stood, reaching a hand down to help Reiner up. He looked back down at his father’s grave, a melancholy expression crossing his features. “Umarım bir gün seni tekrar görebilirim.” At that, Bertholdt started to walk away, him letting Reiner run a thumb along the back of his hand before Reiner pulled his hand away. “Reiner?” 

“Hmm?” 

“I think, one day when I go to Canada, I’d like you to hold my hand.” Reiner laughed, Bertholdt giving him an affectionate smile in return. “We can walk down the street and nobody will say anything.” 

“If that’s what you want, I’ll hold your hand all day long.” 

  


The flight from Istanbul to Antalya was about five hours long, but that beat a twelve-hour bus ride that would’ve eaten up an entire day of their vacation. Bertholdt was letting the three of them stay at his home; Reiner could sleep with him in his room, and Pieck and Porco could take the guest room. 

“Welcome to my humble home.” Bertholdt said, unlocking the door to his home and leading his three friends in behind him. “Take off your shoes, please. I don’t like shoes in my home.” Pieck remembered reading about that, all of them taking their shoes off and following him inside. There were some pictures hung on the walls of Bertholdt’s home. 

A picture of a young Bertholdt, a man that looked like Bertholdt and a woman wearing a headscarf caught Reiner’s eye. Looking more closely at the picture, he found himself looking at Bertholdt’s green eyes on the woman’s face, but aside from that Bertholdt looked like a copy of his father. His father’s skin was a bit darker than Bertholdt’s, but not much. 

“Wow, Pock, look at this rug!” Pieck said, looking down at the rug in Bertholdt’s living room. Bertholdt raised a brow at Pieck’s reaction to it, then smiled. 

“My grandma made that rug. It apparently took her two years to weave it. It was a wedding gift to my parents, but my mom was already pregnant with me when grandma finished it. Everything about it is handmade. My grandma spun the wool and dyed it herself.” Bertholdt showed them around the house, but it was pretty plain. 

Porco wanted to complain a little about how it was much less luxurious than the hotel in Istanbul, but his wallet wasn’t complaining at all having a free place to stay for most of the time. They could buy groceries and eat at home with Bertholdt, too, which would be cheaper than eating out constantly in Istanbul. 

“I have a little garden here in the back, my mom loved gardening and I used to like doing it with her. The apricot tree she planted when I was a kid has grown up. I’ve got some mint, onions and tomatoes too.” Bertholdt crossed his arms and looked in satisfaction at his mom’s tree. “I’ll make you guys some stuffed apricots in a couple of days.” 

“So what all is there to do in Antalya, Bertholdt?” Pieck asked, getting comfortable on the sofa in Bertholdt’s living room. There was a TV, and a laptop sitting on the table. Bertholdt either kept his home incredibly clean or cleaned it top-to-bottom because he knew he’d have company. 

“Uh, there’s an aquarium, there are some cable cars that take you to the top of the mountain and to some waterfalls, there’s the beach, historical sites… the old harbor is really pretty to go and watch the sunset. You can go rafting in the canyon.” 

“You worked in tourism, where’d you work?” Porco asked. Bertholdt started making tea, shooing Reiner away to the living room while he focused on his tea. 

“I worked at Lara Beach. I quit because the tourists were being too aggressive for me to handle right now. I’ve had a lot going on.” Bertholdt finished the tea and brought it to his guests. “I don’t feel like cooking tonight. I’ll take you out to eat later. I know a few good places around here.” 

“It’s okay, Bertholdt. Don’t overexert yourself.” Bertholdt nodded and sipped at his tea, chuckling a little when Reiner leaned his head onto his shoulder. Reiner was really taking to the tea, much to Bertholdt’s delight. He was going to make sure Reiner went home with a Turkish teapot. 

“Yeah, the last thing I need is you passing out as soon as we get back.” Reiner said playfully, Bertholdt blushing at the implication. Pieck grinned at the joke, but Porco grimaced and turned away at that. Reiner cocked a brow; Porco had never had an issue with him being gay, but Porco just seemed… uncomfortable. Maybe they should talk about it later? 

“I have some tobacco, we can smoke some nargile in my little backyard whenever we get back.” Reiner turned excitedly to Bertholdt, and looked like he was eager. 

“Do you have that cappuccino tobacco?” Porco frowned and rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t want that bullshit, we already had this argument in Istanbul.” Porco said, Pieck shrugging her shoulders. 

“Don’t knock it till you try it.” A nervous laugh from Bertholdt, him scratching behind his head. 

“Actually… I don’t have it. I mostly smoke mint, sometimes when Annie comes to visit she and I like smoking blueberry. I have some peach, mango, passionfruit, apple…” Reiner and Pieck both shook their heads in defeat, having been the ones who wanted the cappuccino. “I can buy some while you’re here.” 

“It doesn’t matter. As long as I’m spending time with mon nounours.” Reiner pecked Bertholdt’s cheek and pulled him into a hug. Bertholdt sighed happily and sipped his tea. His home didn’t feel so empty having company over. He never wanted it to end. 

  


The vacation was like a dream. White-water rafting with Bertholdt in the canyon was loads of fun, and Reiner found himself wanting to do that again. Pieck was especially mesmerized by the historical ruins, though Reiner and Porco enjoyed the more outdoorsy parts of travelling around to see historical sites than the sites themselves. 

The waterfalls were beautiful. Bertholdt shared some of his paintings with his new friends, and nobody could believe that this meek man they’d gotten to know, not even twenty, had created such beautiful paintings. There was a painting of the old harbor at sunset, Bertholdt especially fond of it. And a painting of an aurora, green with a hint of pink, that Bertholdt excitedly chattered about; especially when he started talking about how he and Reiner were going to go see them one day. 

The sex had been fantastic, and the snuggling afterward was so intimate that Reiner wanted to just melt into Bertholdt and be part of him forever. The pillow talks about all the things in Antalya to do and all the things there were in Canada filled them both with joy. The mumbled sweet nothings made Bertholdt’s cheeks go ablaze every time. 

But unfortunately, all dreams have to come to an end eventually. The last three days of the vacation, Reiner had noticed Bertholdt would seem down sometimes. The reality of their parting began to weigh heavily on both their minds. 

“Reiner… I’m not ready to say goodbye to you.” Bertholdt mumbled. Reiner was nuzzling his bare chest, running a finger along Bertholdt’s belly. Reiner was silent and scooted up a little so his head was next to Bertholdt’s. He put both hands on Bertholdt’s cheeks and stroked Bertholdt’s cheekbones with his thumbs. 

“I know… I don’t want to leave either.” Reiner’s eyes started to well up, him pressing his forehead against Bertholdt’s. Before he knew it, Bertholdt felt his own eyes dripping. “I feel like I just got here. I know it’s been two weeks and god, Bertholdt, they’ve been the best two weeks of my life. But they’re not enough.” 

“Reiner. You make me feel complete. Now that you’re leaving everything is going to be so lonely. Especially since Annie is going to California soon.” Bertholdt sniffled and clung tightly to Reiner, pulling him as close as possible to him. “When can I come see you? Or when can you come back? Or we could meet somewhere. I just have to be with you again, Reiner.” Reiner felt the tears dripping onto his skin and let himself cry. 

“You can come to Canada anytime. But if you come in the winter, I’ll be off school for a winter break. And you and I can go to Yellowknife and see the winter auroras. I’ll make fun of you because I know the cold will be too much for you.” Bertholdt was still crying and shivering, but made a grunt at Reiner’s joke regardless. 

“You know you’re always, always welcome here in my home, Reiner. Whenever you want. As long as you want. Just say the word and I’ll be ready for you here. I promise… however it needs to happen, I want to come to Canada with you.” Reiner nodded against him. 

“I’ve already started looking into the immigration process. I have every intent on bringing you to Canada whenever I can. As soon as you’re ready. I’ll need to work a bit, because it’s really expensive, but I promise I’ll make it happen.” 

“I’m helping you, Reiner. We’ll make it happen. I keep telling myself this distance is only temporary. I just want you by my side forever. Until the end of time.” 

“Even after that. My Bertholdt. Mon ange. Mon amour.” Reiner pressed more kisses to Bertholdt’s cheeks. They laid together and enjoyed one another’s company, neither of them bothering to sleep because they wanted every single second together. 

Reiner felt his cheeks wet while he was packing up his stuff, looking at some of the things that he’d gotten the past few days. Bertholdt had given him an evil eye, which truthfully creeped him out a little. Bertholdt had chirped about it being for good luck. He’d given evil eyes to Porco and Pieck, too. And the teapot, which Bertholdt had been almost too enthusiastic to send him home with. 

Bertholdt rode the airplane back to Istanbul with them. He was going to stay with his aunt for a few days, he’d said. Reiner knew Bertholdt just wanted to cling to him a little longer. He’d appreciated it. 

“I guess… this is it.” Reiner said, him looking down at his luggage. Pieck and Porco were standing behind Reiner a few feet to let them have a moment. Bertholdt fidgeted for a moment and felt his eyes starting to burn. Reiner blinked in surprise when Bertholdt reached forward and grabbed his hands, squeezing them. Bertholdt was standing closer to him than he ever had in public. 

“Reiner. There are so many things I want to say to you. I’m… not ready to say goodbye yet. I’m already counting down the seconds to seeing you again.” Bertholdt stroked Reiner’s hands with his thumbs and kept squeezing. 

“Bertholdt, I’m going to cry…” Reiner said, his lip trembling and his cheeks wetting. “Je t’aime. Je t'aime de tout mon coeur. Tu es l’amour de ma vie.” 

“Reiner. Seni tanımadan önce, hayatımın ne kadar boş olduğunu hiç fark etmemiştim. Sensiz bir hayat düşünemiyorum. Sonsuza dek seninle olmak istiyorum.” Bertholdt pulled Reiner in for a kiss, hugging him tightly. Reiner saw the tears in Bertholdt’s eyes. Whatever he’d said… Bertholdt had to have meant it. “Seni seviyorum.” 

“Au revoir, mon amour…” Reiner wiped his eyes and grabbed at his luggage, Bertholdt kissing him again before he turned around. Pieck and Porco noticed Reiner’s fallen expression, both of their expressions becoming somber. 

“Reiner?” He’d gotten a few steps away, but Reiner stopped in his tracks and looked behind him. Bertholdt was still standing there, his arms crossed and his face wet. “Bir gün seninle evleneceğim…” Bertholdt started waving at Reiner, bidding him farewell. Reiner smiled and waved back, then found himself lost with Pieck and Porco in the crowd. 

When the plane finally took off, Reiner broke down and put his hand to the window, wondering if Bertholdt was still in the airport or not. 

  


(Bear Face )-tolt(Sparkling Heart )  
  
Reiner. I love you. Meeting you was absolutely magical. I couldn’t have asked for a better time.  
  
I know you can’t text me on the airplane. But I want you to open your messages up and see me telling you I love you. If I can’t be beside you, I want you to know I’m thinking about you.  
  
I love you too. As soon as I’m home I’m going to look more into Canadian immigration. Someday we’re going to come together and we’ll never have to say goodbye.  
  
Tu es ma joie de vivre.  
  


  


Returning to normalcy was hard. Reiner had to adjust to being long-distance again, and coping with the time zone difference. He’d forgotten how much he hated it. There were only a precious couple of hours in the day that they could talk. But he was absolutely set on getting Bertholdt to Canada. 

“Are you making Turkish tea again?” Pieck asked, coming into the kitchen from her room. The smell of the tea had lured her in from doing what she’d been doing. Reiner nodded at her question and grabbed himself a cup. 

“Yeah. Bertholdt got me hooked on this stuff while we were in Turkey. I don’t want to drink it ten times a day like he does, but it’s still good. Do you want some too?” Pieck nodded. Reiner grabbed a couple of glasses they’d gotten in Antalya and poured the tea, then sat down with Pieck on the sofa. 

“I was going through all the pictures I took while we were in Turkey.” Pieck started, leaning over so her head was on Reiner’s shoulder. He smiled at the physical affection. “I know you said Bertholdt is camera shy, so I took lots of pictures of you and him together when you two weren’t looking.” 

“What?” Reiner asked, raising a brow. Pieck pulled out her cellphone and opened her camera roll, going back a couple of weeks to the start of their vacation. “You just took a bunch of candid pictures of us?” 

“Pock did too. Actually, my favorite one is on his phone. I’ll have him send it to me when he’s on break at work.” Pieck tapped her screen to her first candid shot of them at the airport. Reiner was looking at his flowers and Bertholdt had a sweet smile on his face. “I knew Bertholdt would shy away and you’d go along with it. But I wanted there to be pictures from you getting to see him. You guys will thank us one day.” 

Reiner didn’t really protest. Truth be told, he wanted to take so many pictures and selfies of himself and Bertholdt, but Bertholdt was so camera shy that it never really happened. He’d definitely gotten better. There were two selfies that Bertholdt had taken with him. But for a two-week vacation and meeting for the first time… it wasn’t much. “Oh, I like that picture you took of Bertholdt sunbathing when we went to the beach in Antalya.” 

“I thought he was asleep for a minute, he scared me to death when I went to wake him up and he suddenly turned his head to look at me.” Reiner chuckled and kept scrolling through the pictures. 

“It was so funny when you fell back onto your ass because he scared you so badly. And then Bertholdt got worried about you and got up, he apologized so many times but Porco and I couldn’t stop laughing at you.” Pieck elbowed Reiner for laughing at her misfortune, but they kept scrolling through her pictures regardless. There were a lot of pictures of Porco looking confused, but Pieck could only chuckle at them. “You took a lot of pictures of stray cats while we were there.” 

“They were just too cute, look at them!” Pieck chirped. Reiner laughed softly and shook his head. 

“You should’ve talked to Bertholdt about that. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up to pictures of cats he saw because he thought they were cute and he’d just take pictures of them. He doesn’t do it as much now but I’ll still sometimes wake up to a cat picture.” 

They’d returned to the same frequency of calling and texting that they’d had before Bertholdt’s father died, if not a little more. And Reiner was glad for that, because he’d been worried they’d drifted apart somewhat before the trip to Turkey. Now he could be sure beyond a doubt everything was going to be fine. 

Reiner was standing in the kitchen one morning spreading some butter onto his toast when he heard his phone vibrating on the kitchen counter. He picked it up and glanced at the screen, surprised to see a video call coming in from Bertholdt. He accepted the call and was greeted by a familiar face, Reiner’s grin going ear-to-ear. 

“Reiner? Oh, you’re awake! I knew you were off from work and school today so I wasn’t sure if you’d be awake yet. I remember you loved sleeping in, hehe.” The unmistakable background of Bertholdt’s living room indicated he was home, so he must not have worked today. Normally when he and Reiner spoke, it was later and he’d been home from work for some time. 

“What are you video calling me for? N-not that I mind! I’m so happy to see you! I just know that you hate cameras is all.” Bertholdt’s expression didn’t fall, although a look of guilt seemed to cross his features. 

“I wanted to see you again. So, so badly. And I knew you must feel the same way about me. It was easy to avoid video calling whenever we’d never met but now I can’t get your face out of my head. I’ve got the pictures of you here in my home but it isn’t enough.” Bertholdt paused for a second and blushed. “Besides, it’s so cute watching your cheeks when you smile.” 

“Oh, stop.” Reiner put in his sugar and stirred his coffee, glancing away from Bertholdt for a minute. “You’ve got me addicted to that tea. And it doesn’t feel right drinking it in anything other than those tea glasses you gave me.” 

“I did my job, then.” Bertholdt laughed and reached for something, then brought a tea into the view of the camera. “It’s my responsibility as a Turkish citizen to introduce Turkish tea into your life.” Reiner chuckled and shook his head. "Oh! I got that delivery you had sent to my home. Thank you so much for the flowers and chocolates. And the little bear that came with the flowers was so adorable." 

"Un nounours pour mon nounours. Did the chocolate heart have the cookies that spelled out seni seviyorum?" A laugh and a nod from Bertholdt. Reiner was happy; as soon as he found out he could have flowers delivered to Bertholdt's home he'd made the order and scheduled the delivery. 

"You're so thoughtful, Reiner. How lucky am I to have someone like you in my life." 

“So I was looking at things to do in Yellowknife. I’ve been working some extra hours to save up extra money. I want your trip to Canada to be as special for you as going to Turkey was for me.” Reiner sipped at his coffee and moved to sit down on his sofa. “Pieck and Porco will be happy to see you again too.” 

“I’m so excited. I can’t wait. I’ve set up a little stall and I’ve been drawing caricatures and portraits for tourists to make some money. I make more doing that than I did waiting on people at the beach.” Reiner closed his eyes for a second and could see Bertholdt sitting down with his easel and paper. 

“What’re you thinking about that has you looking so cute?” Bertholdt teased, Reiner shaking his head. 

“Nothing. Just my favorite artist in the whole world.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write more about their time in Turkey, but the fic would become way too long. I might write a oneshot or something about an excursion.  
> I had a good time with this chapter. Last chapter was meant to include their time in Turkey but that made the chapter WAY too long. Next chapter is the last one!  
> Thank you so much for your comments, kudos and support. It means so much to me. ;~;


	6. Canada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He took the small bottle of citrus musk and spritzed some into his scarf, then wrapped his scarf around his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very long, because I didn't want to have more than six chapters. ^^;

“How many trees do you think you’ve killed with all that paperwork?” Porco asked one day when he got home and found Reiner pouring over a massive stack of papers. Reiner had been looking a lot into Canadian immigration, and come to find out immigration was a _massively_ complicated process. 

“Every time I think I’ve gotten all the paperwork I might need or that Bertholdt might need I find some new form.” Reiner complained, putting down his ink pen and leaning back into the chair. “At least Bertholdt isn’t a woman and I don’t have a kid. The amount of paperwork that would add to this would make me want to kill myself.” 

“I’d say. You’re only trying to bring over one person, not a whole family. Have you figured out how much all of this is going to cost?” Reiner groaned at that and ran a hand along his face, shaking his head. Porco made a cup of water and put it on the table for Reiner. 

“Well, right now it’s looking like it’ll cost a little over $1200 to get the paperwork filed. I’m sure there’ll be a lot more to it than that.” Bureaucratic nonsense is what a lot of this felt like. But it was necessary if he wanted Bertholdt to come live with him in Canada. And _god_ Reiner wanted it so bad. Video chatting was nice. Talking on the phone was nice. Texting was nice. 

But living with Bertholdt, always being together, not having to worry about saying goodbye anymore… that would be perfect. He’d probably need to move out from living with Pieck and Porco. But he and Bertholdt could get their own place close by. Bertholdt was bringing his prized Anatolian rug over, and Reiner would be lying if he said he hadn’t been trying to figure out what furniture would match it. 

They’d fight. They’d argue. There would be bad days. Both of them would probably cry themselves to sleep at some point. But their relationship was strong, the trust was there, and at the core of Reiner’s being he _knew_ Bertholdt loved him and he loved Bertholdt. 

What was Bertholdt’s first trip to Tim Horton’s going to be like? Would Bertholdt like hockey? Bertholdt was set on the auroras. But there were other things to see too. Bertholdt was in love with the waterfalls in Antalya, so taking Bertholdt to Niagara Falls was a no-brainer. He loved painting landscapes, so taking Bertholdt to see the Canadian wilderness sounded nice. They could take pictures of the scenery and when they came home Bertholdt could go work in his studio. 

“You’re taking Bertholdt to meet your mom first, right?” Porco asked. He opened the fridge, noticing the three lobsters wrapped up in newspaper in the bottom shelf. Reiner must be making dinner tonight. He made a great lobster; Karina had taught him well. Porco’s mouth watered. Poor little things. At least they tasted good. 

“Yeah. Mom is making lobster for him. We’ll be stopping by Mom’s for a couple of days whenever Bertholdt comes to Canada, then we’ll be going up north to go to Yellowknife. Bertholdt’s birthday is during my break so that’s when I’m taking him up to see the auroras. Since it’s so far in the north, and it’ll be in December, it’s going to be terribly cold. I’m not too worried, but I think Bertholdt is underestimating it.” Porco nodded and got the lobsters out of the fridge when he saw Reiner starting to get the pots out. 

“Pieck hates when you drop these little guys into the water. Good thing she’s out late visiting her dad. By the time she’s home they’ll already be dead.” Porco watched the lobsters moving around slowly. Ugh. No wonder they used to be called the cockroaches of the sea. Why did Pieck think they were cute? She thought they were cute and hated when Reiner killed them, but she ate them happily regardless. “Think Bertholdt will freak out the first time he sees you kill a lobster?” 

“Probably. He rescues bugs unless they’re destroying his garden. He felt bad when he accidentally squished a worm when we were in Turkey. Me dropping a lobster into boiling water is going to jar him, I’m sure.” At that, Reiner took off the bands on one of the lobsters and tossed it into the pot. Porco started to remove the bands and swore when the lobster pinched him. 

“Ow! Little bastard!” Porco quickly tossed the lobster into the pot and scowled at it. “Let him get pinched by one of these little assholes and he’ll be fine tossing it into the water himself.” Porco sucked on his finger for a second, then went back to the fridge. 

“Hehe. We’ll see. He’ll be up here again just before Christmas. December 19. He’s made a huge deal about the wintertime. I bought a mini Christmas tree so we can put it together at Mom’s. He picked out a bunch of Christmas ornaments online that he wants to put on the tree.” 

Time seemed to slow down as the day for Bertholdt to come to Canada approached. Surely it was the anticipation. Or being crushed under intense pressure from finals, yet again. Pieck once again became a cryptid, holing up in her room and only really coming out to eat. Reiner’s eyebags got bags, but the promise of Bertholdt coming to him gave him reason to keep pushing forward. 

Reiner was vibrating in excitement whenever he found himself in the Montreal airport waiting for Bertholdt’s plane from Algiers to land. He had a bouquet of white roses and stargazer lilies; it being the middle of winter meant lots of flowers were extremely hard to come by, but roses and lilies were available and beautiful enough for someone like Bertholdt. It was late; Bertholdt’s flight was landing well past sundown, but that didn’t matter. Reiner had gotten a room at a nearby hotel for the night, then they were headed back to Reiner’s childhood home the next morning. 

“Bertholdt!” Reiner said as soon as he saw Bertholdt walking around looking confused. Reiner walked as quickly as he could, almost running to his other half. Bertholdt caught sight of Reiner and smiled, but his smile fell and his face seemed alarmed when he thought Reiner was going to run into him and knock him over. Instead Reiner stopped short and pulled Bertholdt into a tight hug. “Tu m'as tellement manqué, mon chéri.” 

“Reiner! Don’t scare me like that!” Bertholdt said, relaxing after a moment and returning the hug. Reiner pulled away and gave him a devilish smile, then handed him the bouquet of flowers. “You have a new name for me every time you see me…” 

“Because you’re special. Mon étoile. Mon destin. Mon avenir.” Reiner pressed a kiss to Bertholdt’s cheek, then nuzzled into Bertholdt’s shoulder. Bertholdt hummed happily, then separated himself from Reiner. Reiner grabbed one of Bertholdt’s hands and brought it to his face, kissing each knuckle before letting go. “You have too much luggage now, but we have plenty of time to hold hands.” 

“Hehe. Yeah. Let’s get all this stuff to the hotel room. Sorry my flight came in so late. You must be tired.” It wasn’t truly late like Bertholdt acted like it was. And Reiner wasn’t dead tired. But he did want to get to the hotel room and relax. He was in desperate need of a snuggling session after the stress of his most recent semester in college. 

“Never too tired for you. Remember? We stayed up all night long before I came back to Canada.” Bertholdt chuckled and grabbed some of his luggage, Reiner grabbing some as well to take the burden off of Bertholdt. “I wanted to spend as much time as possible with you. I still do.” 

“Me too. I’m so excited about being in Canada. I want to try some poutine! Porco said it was his favorite!” Reiner half-laughed at that. _Of course_ Porco would convince Bertholdt poutine was the quintessential Canadian entrée. Porco ate the stuff all the time. He and Pieck didn’t mind it, but they weren’t hooked like Porco. 

“Well, let’s just get back to the hotel and order a little room service tonight. We can think more about what to eat and all that tomorrow. Mom is making lobster tomorrow night for me and you. She’s the best. She’s excited to meet you.” They got to the hotel, Reiner having already checked in and gotten the room. He and Bertholdt couldn’t stand still in the elevator, both of them so excited to see the other again after several long months. 

“Meeting the parent. I feel like this is a huge deal. I’m almost scared.” Reiner laughed and shook his head. The door of the elevator opened, Reiner leading Bertholdt to the door of their hotel room. “Oooh, it’s pretty in here. We have a good view of Montreal.” 

“Yeah. I’ve never really spent time in Montreal. I’ve just passed through to come to the airport.” Bertholdt went to sit down on the end of the bed. It was too cold outside to lounge on the balcony like they had in Istanbul. “You and I can come check it out one day.” 

“That sounds like fun.” Bertholdt and Reiner moved to lay next to one another, Reiner scooting closer to Bertholdt and burying his face into the taller man’s chest. Bertholdt kissed Reiner’s cheeks and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s been so long. I almost forgot how soft your hair is.” 

“You brought your citrus musk. I smell it.” Reiner said, not bothering to open his eyes. The pleasant scent made him relax; it was just so _Bertholdt_ that he couldn’t help but be soothed by it. 

“I’m going to buy a lot of it before I move to Canada so I have it. I’ll buy more whenever we go visit Turkey.” Bertholdt rolled Reiner so that he was pinned underneath him. “I know you love it. Best I remember, it drove you crazy.” 

“It still does.” Reiner teased. Bertholdt laughed and leaned down to kiss Reiner’s neck a couple of times, then moved to nibble on Reiner’s ear. A gasp sent a wave of goosebumps down Bertholdt’s arms, him shuddering at the sound. “Do it again.” 

“Just for you, aşkım.” The words were whispered hotly into Reiner’s ears, followed by more delicate nibbling to the shell. 

“Bertholdt… give me just a second.” Reiner rolled out from underneath Bertholdt and grabbed his small bottle from his small bag. He hadn’t needed to bring much; he’d be home soon enough. “Let’s make love. It’s been too long. I want to feel close to you.” 

“You know I’d say yes to that.” Bertholdt laughed and let Reiner peck a line of kisses along his jawline. Reiner was so warm, and Bertholdt couldn’t help but close his eyes and smile. “I missed being intimate. I’ve missed waking up to you in my bed.” 

Reiner pulled off his shirt and started to unbutton Bertholdt’s. “It’s almost over, mon ange. I promise. Soon we’ll be living together and we’ll never have to say goodbye again.” 

Bertholdt gasped when Reiner kept pushing further, but he hadn’t ever heard Reiner moan “épouse-moi” like he kept doing tonight. He couldn’t help but wonder, but did that really matter when Reiner was making him feel things he’d only dreamed of? 

  


“Anyone that makes my little Reiner happy is welcome here.” Karina put her hands on Bertholdt’s shoulders and looked him up and down. He was definitely handsome. Tall, tan, pretty green eyes. Bertholdt had a blush on his face while Reiner’s mother almost seemed to inspect him. “He’s crazy about you, you know.” 

“Really now? How so?” Reiner was blushing and crossing his arms while he sat on the sofa, looking away from the pair. “Does he talk about me that much?” 

“Gosh, yes. Every time he’s come home since college started, it’s been ‘Bertholdt this’ and ‘Bertholdt that.’ And when he came back from Turkey he talked about you so much. I was skeptical at first but you make my boy walk with a spring in his step.” 

“Come on, mom…” Reiner mumbled, his face burning. Bertholdt probably knew all that already, but he didn’t need his mom telling Bertholdt about all that! Karina waved a hand at Reiner and went back to fawning over Bertholdt. 

“Reiner told me you’ve wanted to try my lobster. You’re in luck, I got some lobsters to make tonight. We’ll have my chowder tomorrow. After dinner Reiner said you wanted to put up a little Christmas tree.” 

“Yes. I look forward to it, Ms. Braun.” Karina chuckled and beckoned for Reiner to join her in the kitchen. She put the pots on to boil on the stove, tossing salt into the water. 

“Just call me Karina, dear.” Reiner grabbed the lobsters that sat in the bottom of the fridge, then put them on the counter. Bertholdt cocked his head and walked over to grab one, unwrapping it and holding it in his hand. 

“It’s… still alive…?” Bertholdt frowned and looked at it. Reiner raised a brow and looked on in fascination as Bertholdt looked at the lobster. It was moving slowly, its movements hampered by the fact that it was so cold from being refrigerated. “I thought lobsters were supposed to be smaller, I guess.” 

“Those are big ones. Mom always gets big ones when she makes lobster because it’s a special meal. Today is special because you’re here.” Bertholdt blushed at the compliment but still looked at the lobster in fascination. 

“What do you do? Kill it right before you boil it?” 

“You put it in the pot alive, dear.” Karina said distractedly, turning around and seeing Bertholdt looking at the lobster intently. “They die when you boil them.” 

“What?!” Bertholdt seemed shocked and looked at his lobster. Was it his? Were the lobsters picked out for each of them before they were cooked? Was this one even his lobster? The water in the pot was boiling, and Bertholdt watched in mild horror as Karina picked up a lobster and took the bands off its pinchers before she dropped it into the pot. Reiner did the same, grabbing the other lobster and taking off the bands. Reiner dropped the lobster into the water without a second thought. “Reiner!” 

“Huh? Bertholdt?” Reiner turned around and looked at Bertholdt, a confused expression on his face. “Something wrong?” 

“You just killed that lobster! But it isn’t even dead yet, it’s dying! Aren’t you guilty at all it’ll die such a horrible death?” 

“They don’t feel pain like that, Bertholdt. Lobsters don’t have a nervous system like ours.” Reiner turned to face Bertholdt. “Just take the rubber bands off its pinchers, then drop it in the pot. If you leave the bands on, it tastes a little funny. Or at least I think so.” 

Bertholdt walked over to the pot of boiling water and looked at the lobster in his hands. “I’m sorry, lobster.” He pulled one band off, then slowly moved to remove the other. Karina and Reiner both raised their brows, Reiner’s expression setting into one of worry. 

“Bertholdt, you need to do it quickly or else it’ll-” Reiner was cut off by a yelp of pain from Bertholdt when he removed the second band and the lobster pinched his finger. Bertholdt dropped the lobster, it making a dull _clack_ when it hit the ground. 

“Ow! Siktir!” Before Karina or Reiner could react, Bertholdt quickly reached down and grabbed the lobster again. He had a dark expression that Reiner had never even thought possible on Bertholdt. “Ölmek.” Bertholdt tossed the lobster into the pot, him watching the lobster in the water for a moment. “Acısız bir ölüm sizin için çok merhametlidir.” 

Karina walked past Bertholdt and put the lid on the pot. Reiner looked shocked, but Bertholdt gave him a warm smile that betrayed what he just saw. “Uh… that works too, I guess…” Reiner scratched the back of his head. What in the hell was _that?_ But Bertholdt was back to his normal self, puttering around the kitchen. 

…Fuck. Bertholdt made a comment about an old picture of him and Gabi being cute, and now his mom was going to whip out old pictures and photo albums. And she told Bertholdt that when he was a baby he had the cutest butt in the world. And Bertholdt was more than happy to see pictures. 

Reiner went and leaned back into the couch, waiting for the inevitable feeling of humiliation he knew was coming. 

But instead, after dinner Bertholdt was more eager to put up the little Christmas tree. Reiner got it out of the box and set it up while Karina put some string lights on the tree. It went up to Bertholdt’s waist, so Bertholdt had to sit on the ground to put the ornaments on. 

“I got some good ones to go with your ornaments! Huh? Why is there a pickle ornament?” Bertholdt grabbed the pickle from Karina’s box of ornaments and looked at it carefully, then put it on the tree. He had gotten a red ball ornament and had painted the moon and star of the Turkish flag onto it, him putting it on the tree. It was fun, making the tiny fake tree come to life. 

“The pickle ornament is something I got in the States a long time ago. About a year before Reiner was born. In the States there’s a small tradition that the person who finds the pickle on the tree will have good luck. Some Americans think it’s a German tradition, but it’s American. The Christmas pickle.” 

“Wow.” Bertholdt looked on in pride at the tiny Christmas tree. He turned to Reiner with stars in his eyes. “I want to put up a big Christmas tree one day! And we can put out a big inflatable bear like your neighbors!” 

Bertholdt was going to be one of _those people_ around Christmastime? Reiner smiled and shook his head. His beautiful, handsome boyfriend could be such a dork. 

  


The airplane ride to Yellowknife made Bertholdt aware of just how big Canada really was. It was an eight-hour flight, because apparently Yellowknife was almost 3200km from Montreal by plane! Before they flew out, Reiner had made absolutely, positively sure that Bertholdt had appropriate clothing for travelling as far north as they were going in the wintertime. 

Reiner made a comment that there would only be about five hours of sunlight every day, tops. This was normal in the winter where they were going, but it was jarring to Bertholdt. Reiner was snoozing in the seat next to him, but Bertholdt didn’t mind. He got a window seat, and watched the beautiful Canadian landscape pass below them. 

“Hey, Reiner. We’re about to land.” Bertholdt very gently shook Reiner’s shoulder to jostle him awake. Reiner groaned a little and cracked open his eyes, his tired eyes focusing on Bertholdt’s face. A lazy smile crossed Reiner’s face, his eyes fluttering shut again. “Reiner, it’s time to get up. We’re about to land in Yellowknife.” 

“Hmm… I wanna sleep…” Reiner started wiping at his eyes and blinked a few times, everything coming into focus. He looked at Bertholdt and took off his neck pillow, then leaned over to put his head on Bertholdt’s shoulder. “Bertholdt. I need some coffee…” 

“When we get to the hotel room I’ll make you a cup. It’s still pretty early in the day, so we can go out to eat.” Reiner hummed and stretched out as much as he could on the plane. They grabbed their luggage and left the airport as soon as they arrived; they weren’t waiting on the other like the times from before. 

“…Bok…” Bertholdt was alarmed at how cold it was. He glanced over at Reiner, who was clearly feeling it as well. Maybe not as much… Reiner didn’t look surprised by the cold. They very quickly got a taxi to take them to the hotel they were staying at. “R-R-Reiner… it’s s-so cold…” 

“I know, Bertholdt. I was afraid it’d be more than you expected. It’s okay, love. We’ll get you warmed up, alright?” Bertholdt nodded, then noticed his teeth were chattering. Reiner leaned up and looked at the driver of the taxi. “Hey, sir, how cold is it today?” 

“Today it’s -35 degrees, with windchill it’s supposed to feel like -45.” Bertholdt closed his eyes. The thought of such cold temperatures almost didn’t make sense to him. But soon he’d be holed up in the nice, warm hotel with Reiner. Maybe Reiner could warm him up with his body heat… “You not used to the cold?” 

“I’m Canadian, but he’s from the Mediterranean. This is just a little different for him.” The taxi driver laughed and pulled them up to the hotel. Reiner paid the man, who gave a curt nod to Bertholdt. “Warm beaches to a frozen place like this. Stay safe, pal.” 

“Thanks…” Getting out of the car was difficult, and Bertholdt made a beeline to the door of the hotel. Reiner followed in after him, the two of them checking into the hotel. Bertholdt was mesmerized by a massive stuffed bear, standing on its hind legs with its teeth bared. “Wow, look at it.” 

“That’s a stuffed polar bear. I’m not afraid of many things, but if we see a polar bear I might piss myself…” Reiner shuddered at the imposing height of the bear. “Let’s just get to our room.” 

“It’s so cold, Reiner… Maybe today we should just go out a little bit so I can get used to it.” Reiner nodded, the two of them making their way to their hotel room. Bertholdt plopped down onto the bed and looked out the window. It was twilight, despite being only four in the afternoon. Apparently during this time of year, the sun rose at ten in the morning and started to set at three. 

“We can go out and do some ice skating later if you feel up to it. I can teach you.” Reiner offered, Bertholdt nodding at the idea. If they wanted to go even farther north to a more remote place so he could see the auroras, he needed to get used to the cold. But for now, he enjoyed Reiner kissing his cheeks and snuggling into the crook of his neck. “We’re all alone at the top of the world. This is nice.” 

“Yes. I’m not used to the cold, but being up here with you all by ourselves is perfect. I’d love to go ice skating with you. You’ll need to pick me up a few times, though.” After some time, the two of them made their way to the city center, then found a skating rink. Bertholdt felt like his eyebrows were so brittle they’d break right off his face. 

Reiner hadn’t been kidding when he put so many layers of clothes on. Bertholdt wondered if it was excessive, but at least one of them knew what to do. Reiner got them two pairs of ice skates, him having no trouble at all. “I wanted to be a hockey player when I was a kid, so I learned to skate. But football wound up being what I was good at.” 

“Help me, Reiner…” Bertholdt whined, falling onto his behind time and time again. Reiner helped pick Bertholdt up and gently guided him back to the rail on the side of the rink. “I keep falling, I feel awkward.” 

“Hey, nobody is perfect when they start. And if you fall it just gives you a chance to learn to get back up on the skates.” Reiner encouraged Bertholdt, him holding onto the rail while Reiner helped him. “Bend your knees a little bit, and don’t move your arms.” Bertholdt squeezed his eyes shut but didn’t find himself falling over. “Stick your arms out in front of you.” 

“Okay, you can let me go now, Reiner.” Bertholdt said, him opening his eyes and finding Reiner already ahead of him watching with a grin on his face. As soon as Bertholdt realized Reiner wasn’t holding onto him, he couldn’t help but tumble onto his ass again. “Reiner! Help!” 

“Hehehe… it’s okay, Bertholdt. I’ll make an ice skater out of you one day.” Reiner skated over and helped Bertholdt back up. “Let’s just go eat some dinner and go back to the hotel room.” Bertholdt nodded shakily and clung to Reiner while they made their way back to the hotel. 

  


“It’s so remote out here, it’s almost unsettling…” Bertholdt closed his eyes and nuzzled into Reiner. They had booked an aurora tour that gave a 98% chance of seeing an aurora. It also meant spending three days in the far north. They’d paid extra for the heated seats because it was so damn cold. Bertholdt wasn't sure how Reiner was so nonchalant about it! 

The tour company had them brought out the day before and they’d gone dog sledding, followed by a snowshoe excursion. It’d been a lot of fun, but now they were both restless sitting in their seats. The heated teepees were nice and aesthetically pleasing regardless. 

“I’m so happy to be out here with you. It’s so quiet. The stars are beautiful, and the snow is so sparkly. It’s like a scene from a dream.” Bertholdt spoke quietly, the air still and calm. Bertholdt closed his eyes and let Reiner nuzzle him 

“…Look, mon ange.” Bertholdt cracked open his eyes and looked at the sky, his eyes lighting up at the green lights he saw. “Les lumières...” 

“The lights, they really do dance…” Bertholdt stood up and walked a few steps away from his chair, staring at the sky. Disappointment crossed his face when they seemed to fade for a moment, but then his face lit up again when they came back brighter. “Çok güzel… bir rüya gibi…” The snowy mountains in the background, the pine trees, the brilliant greens… no picture he could ever paint would come close to the real thing. 

The soft sound of snow being stepped on drew Bertholdt’s attention, him reaching back and grabbing one of Reiner’s hands. Bertholdt couldn’t help but point a finger at the sky and laugh just a little. “Look, Reiner. It’s so beautiful. We made it. After all this time we’re finally here.” Reiner laughed and nodded along, then rested his head on Bertholdt’s shoulder. Reiner pulled his hand out of Bertholdt’s and stepped back for a moment. 

“Bertholdt. Every time I see you, I fall in love with you all over again. And right now, with you looking so happy and with the auroras over your head, I feel like I couldn’t love you any more than I already do, but I know whenever I wake up in the morning I will.” 

“Oh, Reiner, that’s so sweet. Ben de seni seviyorum. Every day. You’ve always been there for me, and then you bring me out here to see this. It almost hurts, how much I love you.” 

“Mon amour. Mon ange. Passons le reste de notre vie ensemble. Nous sommes faits pour être ensemble.” Reiner dropped down onto his knee, him pulling out a small box from his pocket and opening it up. A golden band with a small diamond sat inside. “Veux-tu m'épouser?” 

He didn’t speak French, and he didn’t understand most of what Reiner had said. But the message was loud and clear. Bertholdt brough his hands to his face, covering his mouth with gloved hands while his eyes suddenly felt wet. 

“Reiner… tabiki yapacağım.” He nodded fervently and opened his arms up, Reiner moving in for a hug. Bertholdt could feel Reiner’s body shaking a little, Reiner sniffling and nuzzling him. “Seninle yaşlanmak istiyorum.” Reiner squeezed Bertholdt’s body against him, but after a moment he let go and gestured for Bertholdt to go back with him to the warm seats. Bertholdt couldn’t put the ring on now; it was too cold, and he couldn’t take off his gloves and put cold metal on. But he took the box and admired the ring inside. 

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If we were to be reborn again one day, I’d find you again. The best thing I’ve ever been given was your heart.” Bertholdt wiped at his face again and gave Reiner a kiss. 

“You said bringing me out here was a birthday present. Tomorrow we get to watch the new year’s fireworks. I remember you said you wanted my trip to Canada to be as special for me as Turkey was for you. Reiner… you didn’t have to do all this. But it’s made me the happiest man in the world.” 

“I don’t know when you want to get married, but anything is okay with me. In Turkey, or in Canada. With lots of people, or just me and you. Whatever you want. Whenever you want.” Bertholdt laughed and shook his head, then pressed his forehead against Reiner’s. 

“I was going to propose to you next time you came to Turkey, Reiner. I wanted to take you out onto a boat in Istanbul at night so the city would be lit up.” Reiner put a hand on Bertholdt’s cheek and leaned forward to snuggle his fiancé. “Next time you come to Turkey, I still want to take you on a boat. We can eat and I’ll get a bottle of champagne.” 

“We can go on a boat. I’d like to do all the things we didn’t have time to do in Turkey. If you move here to live with me in Canada, let’s go back to Turkey. At least once a year to see your family. I want to know your home.” Bertholdt hummed and leaned back into his chair to look back at the sky. 

“That sounds perfect, Reiner. I’ll share my whole Turkish world with you. I already got you drinking the tea.” The teapot Bertholdt had gifted to Reiner sat in their hotel room and was getting used plenty after time out in the ice. “I’ll get you a cezve and show you how to make real Turkish coffee next. And I’m bringing my rug for our home. We can buy a hookah here, or buy one in Turkey and bring it back.” 

“You’re already thinking about how to decorate a home we don’t have yet. I’m sure it’ll look great.” 

The conversation died down, but the two of them sat silently and watched the sky until it was time to leave. 

  


“Okay, so what I think the best thing to do would be for me to sponsor you as a family member.” After the trip to the far north was over, they’d returned to Karina’s home. Reiner had a stack of paperwork, complete with tabs to organize all the papers. The number of documents made Bertholdt’s head spin just looking at it. “It will be much easier for you to immigrate here as the family member of a Canadian citizen.” 

“Reiner, there’s so much paper…’ Bertholdt was looking at a few of the documents, his brows furrowed while he read the instructions on how to go about immigrating. 

“Don’t worry. Most of this is for me, love. The ones for you I’ve already started looking at myself. But with all of this, I’m the sponsor, and you’ll be the principal applicant. I already figured out which documents you need to get for me to include with the immigration application. You can get them in Turkey and send them to me.” Too many forms… but Reiner was so organized and was gliding through them like it was nothing. 

“You’ve been studying this, haven’t you? You know everything about how to get me here, I feel.” Reiner chuckled a little and shook his head. 

“I’m not super confident, if I’m honest with you. But I’ve been looking into all this since I left Turkey. So you could say I’m familiar with all this.” Bertholdt found himself idly drawing a picture of a lobster while Reiner spoke. 

“Hey, Reiner… all of these papers keep saying spouse. But we aren’t actually married yet.” Reiner hummed at the observation and put an elbow on the table, resting his face in his hand. 

“Yes, that’s true. You can’t immigrate here this way until we get married. But whenever feels right for you. I’m sorry, Bertholdt… I can’t afford to give you an extravagant ceremony like you deserve. If it were up to me, I’d rent out the most beautiful vineyard, we’d have so many extravagant flowers, and I’d be able to have anything you wanted there. I’d fly out your family. All my friends would be here, I’d even fly Annie in from California.” 

“Let’s get married before I have to go back to Turkey next week. Let’s… let’s get married tomorrow, Reiner. We don’t need a ceremony. I don’t care about all of that. We can get married and I’ll be your husband.” 

“Tomorrow? You want to?” Reiner scooted his chair next to Bertholdt’s, closing his eyes when Bertholdt leaned his head on his shoulder. “You don’t care about no ceremony? Are you sure?” 

“You can use the money you’d spend on a wedding to submit this immigration application. And we can get a home together. And maybe go on a nice honeymoon one day whenever we’re settled. You don’t have to spend lots of money on a vineyard to prove you love me or that you’re worthy of me. I already know you do.” 

“Oh, mon ange. Tomorrow you’re going to be my husband. Let me call Porco and Pieck so we’ll have witnesses. Mom might want to go, too. Let’s go out and get suits to get married in.” Reiner stood and grabbed his car keys, then gestured for Bertholdt to follow him. 

Pieck and Porco met up with them at the Clerk’s building the next morning, Pieck crossing her arms when they got out of the car. Karina had spent the whole car ride crying. “Good thing you two told us you were getting married. If you got married without me there I’d have to kill you both!” Pieck’s upbeat tone made the threat of murder a little unsettling, but Reiner grinned and hugged her. 

“Love you too, Pieck.” Pieck nuzzled into Reiner’s chest and let go, moving to give Bertholdt a hug. He was so tall! She felt like she was almost cuddling his belly when she hugged him. “Thank you for being here, Pieck. Porco.” 

“I wouldn’t miss your wedding.” Porco didn’t want to hug Reiner or Bertholdt; he didn’t like physical affection like that. But he made up for it by doing the half-hug he was more accustomed to. He paused for a second, unsure if he should touch Bertholdt or not. 

The marriage license cost $125, and they were able to get the clerk to make it official soon after. 

It was way different than Reiner ever imagined his own wedding. Standing in a government building with his mom wiping her cheeks, and Pieck and Porco watching. Marrying someone he met on fucking _Neopets_ of all places. 

Different for sure, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Bertholdt standing there looking at him with that adorable smile and misty eyes, Bertholdt’s long arms around his waist, and the hideous print tie that Bertholdt had been enamored with at the store. They didn’t have wedding rings because it was so spur-of-the-moment, but they’d get them later. Bertholdt kissed him delicately, and Reiner was sure he heard the sound effect of a camera snapping coming from Porco’s cell phone. 

“Mon époux.” Reiner said after he’d kissed Bertholdt. Bertholdt gave him a content look in return. 

“Kocam. Seni sonsuza dek seveceğim. Söz veriyorum.” Bertholdt felt a little awkward being so affectionate in front of Reiner’s mom and his friends. Maybe it was the setting? The clerk’s office felt a little sterile. But all the same Reiner was taking him by the arm and leading him out of the building. 

“You’re married!” Pieck wedged herself between the two and took each of their arms. “We can take your mom home for you, Reiner. As much as I want to celebrate with you two, and as much as I want to hog Bertholdt since it’s been a while… Bertholdt is going back to Turkey in a few days. You two should spend your time as new husbands alone.” 

  


“It doesn’t hurt as much to say goodbye this time as it did last time… but I still don’t want to, mon amour.” Reiner clung quietly to Bertholdt and closed his eyes, burying his face into the crook of Bertholdt’s shoulder while his husband hugged him back. Bertholdt took in the feeling of Reiner’s steady breathing against him, wanting to remember it for those nights he wished there was a special someone in bed next to him. 

“I’ll be back soon enough, aşkım. And soon, it’ll be forever. I’m going to start gathering things and having them sent here for when I move over, okay? I know that you have to send in the immigration application. And that takes time. Maybe while we wait you can come stay with me in Antalya again.” Bertholdt had a thought strike him suddenly, him turning around and unzipping a pouch of his luggage. “I meant to give this to you before I packed my stuff, but I forgot.” 

“Your citrus musk cologne? Are you sure? You always say it’s your favorite.” Bertholdt shook his head and put his hand on Reiner’s shoulder. 

“Yes. It’s fine. I can just buy more when I get home to Antalya. If you feel really lonely, just spritz a little bit of it and think about me.” Reiner nodded and leaned in to hug his husband again. He breathed in deeply and even though he swore he wouldn’t cry this time, he was going to cry. “Don’t cry, Reiner… we’ll see each other again in no time.” 

“Be sure to go get your police certificate and mail it to me, okay? I’ll send you a copy of our marriage certificate.” 

“I know, I’ll send back everything you need.” Reiner nodded and kissed Bertholdt’s cheeks. 

“And don’t forget to send me an official copy of your birth certificate, too.” 

“I know, Reiner. I’ll send you everything you need. I promise.” Bertholdt couldn’t help but laugh just a little bit in spite of the tears dripping out of his eyes. “And if I forget something, I’ll send you whatever I forgot, okay? It’ll be okay.” 

“Thank you. I’m going to miss you, mon ange. I’ll think about you every day. As soon as possible I’ll send everything in. If I need anything from you, I’ll let you know.” Reiner gave Bertholdt a last kiss and rubbed his thumbs along Bertholdt’s cheekbones. “Don’t forget I’m thinking about you. Je t’aime.” 

“Ben de seni seviyorum. I always know you’re thinking about me. I’ll see you soon, Reiner.” 

It hurt badly to watch his husband leaving him. Was this how Bertholdt felt all that time ago whenever he had to walk away back in Istanbul? Yes… this must be the same pain Bertholdt felt watching him leave. Going back to an empty bed… it was going to break his heart. Reiner wiped at his eyes and turned to leave as soon as he couldn’t see Bertholdt in the crowd anymore. 

He took the small bottle of citrus musk and spritzed some into his scarf, then wrapped his scarf around his face. 

Mon Ange (Baby Angel )(Sparkling Heart )  
  
Reiner! Guess what?? Well, I know you’re busy right now. Otherwise I’d video call you. You’re working on that engineering internship and all. Plus classes. At least your internship pays you well.  
  
But look what I got in the mail today!  
  
[photo attachment]  
  
I got a confirmation of permanent residence today! So now I’m officially a permanent resident of Canada. I got a permanent resident visa, too.  
  
I read the documents they sent me. When I come to Canada a border officer will meet me at the port of entry.  
  
I’m so excited, my permanent resident application has finally been approved. (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )  
  
Sorry for spamming your phone. But I’m sure you won’t mind. (Kissing Face )  
  
Now that it’s approved I’ll start gathering the last few things to send to Canada. Like my rug. Send me some house listings so I can help decide where we should live!  
  
Oh, Bertholdt. You've got me crying at work. (Loudly Crying Face ) I’ll call you as soon as I’m off.  
  


  


“It’s our own home, Reiner.” Bertholdt said in awe, leaning into Reiner’s side. It wasn’t too far out from the city where Reiner worked. His internship had offered him a permanent job as an engineer as soon as he graduated, so he didn’t need to worry about looking for work and answering questions to immigration about supporting Bertholdt. 

“I know. It’s perfect. We got it for a steal, too. I’m glad Jean put in a good word for us with the real estate agent.” They’d had lunch with Reiner’s old friend Jean and his fiancé Marco a few weeks prior. It’d been nice to see Jean again, and apparently Marco’s parents were real-estate agents. The world had funny ways of working, didn’t it? “Let’s go check it out again. Now we can plan where we’ll put everything.” 

The house was empty, but they were going to have a moving truck start bringing things over the next day. The utilities were turned on the day before. They’d been staying with Karina while waiting for the house to officially become theirs. Bertholdt went in and looked deep in thought when Reiner caught up to him. “I need to pick the perfect spot for my Anatolian rug.” 

“Your most prized possession.” They got a four-bedroom. The price had gone down a little since most people seemed to prefer living closer to the trendy attractions of the city. But Bertholdt was more comfortable living outside the city anyways. Maybe they’d have a kid one day. Kids, even? Maybe they wouldn’t. But regardless of what they chose, they had the space. “I was thinking we could put the rug in our bedroom. That way we wouldn’t have to worry about guests ruining it. It’d be safe and make our bedroom look nice.” 

“That’s a good idea. You’re so full of good ideas, Reiner. That’s one of the reasons I love you.” Bertholdt pecked Reiner’s cheek and went back to looking around the empty house. “Where should I hang up my evil eye?” Reiner shuddered at the question. He didn’t like the evil eye, but Bertholdt insisted it was an important thing to him and that he’d get used to it. It made Reiner feel like he was being watched. 

“Uh… how about your art studio? To remind you of home sometimes while you’re working?” Bertholdt hummed in thought for a moment, then shook his head. 

“No… then you and our guests wouldn’t ever get to see it.” Reiner couldn’t be sure if Bertholdt were oblivious or if Bertholdt were completely aware of what he was doing. Reiner sighed in defeat. 

“How about the kitchen, then? It’ll compliment your cezve and your ceramics. Plus that tea set you brought.” Bertholdt was extremely proud of his Turkish tea set. Bertholdt gave the teapot he’d given Reiner to Porco and Pieck whenever he moved, because he brought his own pot along with a matching set of cups, saucers, bowls and even a tray. 

“Yes. Look at this space behind the house! I’m going to do a lot of work back here. We’ll have a beautiful garden. I’ll need to figure out what works with the climate here, since it’s so different from Antalya… I did some looking around and I’m going to plant a Canadian White Blenheim tree. It’s an apricot tree more suited to colder climates.” 

“Sounds great, Bertholdt. I’m sure you can grow whatever you want. Maybe you could grow me some strawberries and cherries, they’re my favorite.” Bertholdt chuckled and nodded. 

“Cherries and strawberries. Got it. I’m going to set up a gazebo back here, and we can put that hookah we got the last time you came to Turkey in it. Imagine how pretty it’d be with Moroccan lanterns and some wicker chairs!” 

“I’d like that. We can invite Porco and Pieck over to smoke sometimes. Or Jean and Marco. Maybe even mom, hehe.” Reiner chuckled while watching Bertholdt examine the backyard. He was good at seeing things and deciding what would look best. Bertholdt nodded in satisfaction after a moment, then turned back around and went back inside the house. 

“One bedroom is ours, another is going to be my art studio. Then a guest room, and the last one we can keep as a storage room for now. Just in case we decide we want a kid one day. We’re a little young right now to think about kids.” True. Bertholdt had only been twenty for a couple of days whenever they got married. It was summer now; Bertholdt had turned twenty-one a few months ago. 

“Hmm. In any case, I’m so excited to live here. Our home. We’re going to make so many memories here, Bertholdt. I feel like it’s a dream come true.” 

“I know what my first painting is going to be here, Reiner. It’s a surprise. But I think you’ll like it a lot. Hopefully we’ll have enough moved in that I can start working in my art studio in the next week or so. Pieck told me she was going to help me set up social media to promote my art. She said it’ll be easier to get commissions and make money if I establish a social media presence.” 

“Pieck is good with social media. You know, this guy I was friends in high school with, Connie, has a massive social media following. Maybe he could help you out somehow. We’ll figure it out.” Reiner went upstairs and checked out their bedroom. The rug would look good in there. “We’ll start moving our stuff in tomorrow. Let’s go back to mom’s and rest so we’ll be ready for all that lifting tomorrow.” 

Reiner turned around and saw Bertholdt giving him an unreadable look. Bertholdt grabbed him and pulled him in for a passionate kiss, Reiner squeaking in surprise. Bertholdt gave a sultry grin to Reiner and pecked his neck. 

“But Reiner… I want to do it in our new house.” Reiner’s cheeks heated up, him looking around their empty home. 

“We can’t, Bertholdt. I don’t have any lube, and I don’t want to make a mess in here…” Bertholdt moved to nibble Reiner’s ear, then reached into his pocket and produced a condom and a packet of lube. “We don’t even have our bed here, yet.” 

“I thought you might say something like that. I even brought a condom so we won’t make a mess in our house.” Bertholdt playfully gave Reiner a look he knew Reiner loved. Reiner clutched at Bertholdt’s shirt and looked down. “What’s wrong with doing it on the floor? You liked doing that at the hotel in Istanbul a few months ago… What was it you said before we did that?” 

“…La seule raison pour te sortir du lit est pour te faire l'amour sur le sol.” Bertholdt moved to suck on Reiner’s neck, careful to not leave a hickey. “Bertholdt… prends-moi.” 

Bertholdt wanted to suggest a Tim Horton’s run after they finished, but he decided it was in his best interest to wait until afterward to bring it up. God forbid he kill the mood like _that._

  


“Thanks for having us over, Reiner.” He opened the door to his home and let Pieck and Porco inside, nodding at the two of them. Porco and Pieck took their shoes off at the door; Reiner didn’t mind, but Bertholdt got upset when people wore their shoes into the home. Reiner would often tell new guests that it was important. “Where’s Bertholdt?” 

“He’s in the backyard. You know he spent all summer working on making it look how he wanted. Earlier he put his easel in the backyard and said he felt inspired. I don’t bother him while he paints.” Porco nodded and looked at a picture that seemed a little different from all the others hanging on the wall. 

“What’s this picture? I’ve never seen anything like it before. At least not hanging on someone’s wall.” Reiner looked where Porco was looking and smiled. It was a painting of a purple, winged wolf and a regal, princess-like penguin. What it really was, was his darigan lupe and Bertholdt’s royal bruce. Their main neopets on their old neopets accounts. Bertholdt started working on his surprise painting as soon as they’d moved in his art supplies. 

A sweet reminder of how they met. Reiner chuckled and explained the origins of the painting, getting an affectionate _aww_ from Pieck and a sarcastic comment from Porco. 

“Hello, Pieck! Hello, Porco!” Bertholdt chirped when he came into his home from the back door. “I heard you talking! There’s my favorite Canadian pals…” Bertholdt approached them both and pulled them into hugs. Still, it was weird. Even in Canada Bertholdt wasn’t affectionate in public but became a lovebug in private. 

“Your other half says you’ve been stricken with inspiration.” Bertholdt chuckled and nodded at Porco’s comment, gesturing for the others to follow him. 

“Obviously all my plants haven’t really started growing yet. We moved here well into the growing season. But I wanted to paint how I imagine the backyard will look once all the plants I want to grow are blooming and the trees have grown more.” 

“Wow, your backyard is going to be pretty…” Pieck said in awe, looking at the floral painting Bertholdt had been working on. The gazebo in the picture was there, with cute lanterns and wicker chairs. “The gazebo is adorable, though.” 

“I was thinking we could go out and smoke some nargile after dinner.” Reiner suggested, Bertholdt nodding enthusiastically. “Bertholdt is making simit and lahmacun for dinner.” 

“Simit?” Porco perked up and smiled, Pieck noticing and smiling to herself. 

“Yeah. He’s making tea, but we have some wine, water, soda, juice… whatever you want.” Reiner said, moving out of the way for Bertholdt to go to the kitchen. “Here, let’s just go to the living room and watch some TV. Bertholdt doesn’t like being bothered while he’s cooking.” 

“I’ll let you know when I’m done…” Bertholdt’s voice trailed off, him moving to get everything he’d need to cook. He meant to cook a little earlier… but he’d been so caught up painting and Reiner didn’t disturb him to tell him the time. 

Porco was entranced by the simit. God, he’d missed it so much and he didn’t realize it. The four of them migrated to the gazebo after they ate, the four of them sitting in wicker chairs in a circle around the hookah. 

“Reiner and I have a few different flavors of tobacco… what are you two feeling?” Bertholdt asked, going through the tobacco they had. Reiner lit the lanterns, since the sun was going down now. The lanterns were beautiful. Bertholdt really outdid himself with the gazebo. 

“I loved when we had the cappuccino tobacco whenever we went to that hookah bar in Montreal, hehe.” Pieck and Reiner beat out Porco when that came up at the café the four of them had visited. “Do you have something different?” 

“Bertholdt really likes the tequila sunrise tobacco we have.” Bertholdt gasped in excitement and grabbed the tequila sunrise tobacco, taking the choice away from the other three. “Oh, I guess that’s what we’re having.” 

“You two are going to love this.” Bertholdt got the hookah ready and lit the coals, then gave the hose to Pieck. 

“Oh, that’s good…” Porco seemed curious by Pieck’s reaction, taking the hose and taking a pull himself. He nodded in satisfaction when he tasted the tobacco. “We should come over and do this more often.” 

“That sounds good to me. We love having you two over.” Reiner said, taking the hose and breathing in the smoke. 

Bertholdt couldn’t help but feel his heart swell affectionately. He was in a whole new world, far away from home. But at the same time, he had such nice friends. They were laughing and chatting about nothing important, having fun with part of his world. 

Reiner glanced at Bertholdt and gave him and genuine smile, then reached down and brought a hand to his face. Reiner kissed each knuckle, then put the hose of the hookah in Bertholdt’s hand. Pieck leaned back in her chair and stretched out an arm, grabbing Porco’s hand. He looked embarrassed for a second, but then relaxed. 

No, he wasn’t far away from home, Bertholdt decided. That wasn’t fair. Here he was sharing his culture with three of the most important people in the world. His best friends and his husband. 

Right here was just fine. It was home, after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! Thanks to everyone who read my story, commented on it, retweeted it, liked my tweets about it... _anything!_  
>  It means so much to me that people enjoy what I write. ;~; I've had a lot of fun with this fic. It started out as a dumb idea I had about a month ago and turned into something so much more.
> 
> Feel free to follow me on twitter if you don't already:  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/empresscactuar)  
> My DMs are always open. I'm a terribly shy person, though... ^^;


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